Page 40 of Breakaway Hearts

There’s definitely something in the depths of his eyes that I’ve never seen there before, and he rises from the bed as he murmurs, “Then get it out. Show me how you use it.”

My pulse kicks into an even faster rhythm, my heart pounding as I squeak, “You want to… watch me?”

He swallows, the corded muscles in his neck tensing.

“I want to be sure this is really what you want. You’re asking me to…” He trails off, his hands clenching by his sides. “If you’re serious about this, we’ll be crossing a line that we can’t uncross. Before we go that far—before I touch you—we should start with this. Show me how you get yourself off.”

I’m practically shaking with adrenaline and nerves, but his words hit me right in the chest, spreading warmth through me and slowing my heart rate a little.

Because Reese is being Reese. Like he always does, my best friend is looking out for me.

He can probably read enough of my inner thoughts on my face to know that I’m nervous about this. Maybe he could even sense the moment when I was tempted to bail on this insane idea entirely.

And he’s giving me the chance to do just that.

Instead of leaping on the opportunity to sleep with a woman who basically just threw herself at him, something I know a lot of men wouldn’t hesitate to do, he’s offering me just a small taste of what I’m asking for without taking things too far. He’s letting us both test the waters in a way that will still allow us to keep our friendship intact if it gets too awkward.

He has my back. He won’t hurt me. No matter what happens.

The reminder of how safe Reese makes me feel is the last push I need to make the leap.

“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll do it.”

Chapter14

Callie

Something new flashes across Reese’s face in response to my words. I don’t know if he expected me to say yes or no, but as my ‘yes’ lingers in the air between us, he swallows again.

I’m viscerally aware of the way he tracks my movements as I get up and pad over to the chest of drawers set against one wall. I reach into my underwear drawer and pull out my trusty Rabbit, flushing a little as my gaze darts toward Reese.

Is this what he expected? Is it bigger or smaller than he thought it would be?

If he’s judging me for my choice of sex toy, he doesn’t say anything. Honestly, I haven’t even used this vibrator a lot—especially not since I moved in with Reese. I bought it not long after I broke up with Austin, but I’ve been too embarrassed to use it here, worried that Reese would walk by my room one night and notice the tell-tale buzzing sound through the door.

Of course, now I’m about to use it right in front of him, so he’lldefinitelynotice.

My body feels like it might burst into flames as I cross back to the bed and settle on the mattress, scooting up so that I’m leaning on the pillows piled up against the headboard.

“Can you turn off the light?” I ask Reese, lifting my chin to indicate the switch on the wall behind him.

A flicker of surprise crosses his face. “Why?”

“Um.”God, I didn’t think my face could get any hotter. “Because I usually do this in the dark.”

He doesn’t move, his eyes narrowing slightly. “I told you I wanted to see. How am I supposed to see you if the lights are off?”

The nerves twisting in my belly turn into a different kind of anxiety, and I shift uncomfortably. I get what he’s saying, but the idea of doing this with the lights on, highlighting every stretch mark and roll of fat on my body, every imperfection…

Fuck, I don’t think I can do that.

Maybe thiswasa bad idea. I know my best friend has had plenty of women in his bed over the years. He was never quite the player that Noah was before he fell head over heels for Margo, but he’s still had more puck bunnies than I can count throwing themselves all over him. Before he dated Sienna, he definitely hooked up with some of them.

And I don’t look anything like they did.

Somehow, I forgot that asking Reese to be my sex tutor would involve him seeing me naked—and comparing me to all the previous women he’s slept with.

This whole thing was supposed to be a way to bolster my self-confidence, but now it just seems like the perfect way to crater it.

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