Page 133 of Breakaway Hearts

I don’t say anything. I thought this conversation would be a relief, but my throat is closing up and my head is pounding. Tears burn the backs of my eyes, and it occurs to me that it didn’t hurt nearly as bad when Sienna broke up with me.

“It started as fake,” I finally manage to say. “It started off as an accident, a stupid thing I said one night that Callie agreed to back me up on. And then we started fake dating for real so that she could help me get back together with Sienna.”

I fill her in on the whole story, wincing as I relive certain moments that make the ache in my chest expand.

“God, Sienna really had you wrapped around her fucking finger,” Violet mumbles when I’m finished. “But I take it that the thing with Callie didn’t end as something fake?”

I nod, even though I know she can’t see me.

“So if it wasn’t fake,” my sister continues, taking my silence as confirmation, “what’s going on? Did you guys break up over this?”

“Callie asked for some space,” I tell her, forcing the words out. “Sienna said some awful things to her, and now she’s doubting how I really feel. I tried to convince her that she’s the only one for me, but… fuck, Vi, I really fucked this whole thing up. I feel like I can’t breathe without her. It’s like my life is some echo chamber, and all I can hear is her voice. It’s torture. I hate that she’s not with me, and I hate myself for doing this to her.”

My sister makes a sympathetic noise, and I close my eyes as tears spill down my cheeks. I don’t even bother to wipe them away.

“I hate that I hurt her,” I rasp. “And I hate that this all started because I wanted to get back together with Sienna.Whydid I even want that in the first place? Why? Looking back, I was always jumping through hoops trying to make her happy, but I was never truly happy with her. Why did I let myself be miserable with her, and why did I have to drag Callie into that, too?”

I can hear Violet clicking her nails against a table, a habit of hers when she’s thinking. It usually drives me mad, but right now, it’s somehow comforting.

“Come on, Reese,” she says after a moment of silence. “You know why.”

I blink. “What do you mean?”

She heaves a little sigh. “Remember how badly you wanted mom and dad to stay together? Remember how you made merun away with youto try to remind them that they still loved each other?”

A grimace tugs at my lips. “Yeah. I remember.”

“Well, watching mom and dad’s relationship splinter clearly fucked you up. Iknowit fucked me up. You watched them fall apart, and our whole family fell apart when that happened. So of course you spent all that time with Sienna trying to make things work. Trying to fix the relationship and do whatever you needed to do to make it last. You didn’t want to become like mom or dad.”

Fuck.

She’s miles away, but even over the phone, her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I stare at the steering wheel, tracing the shape of it with my gaze as I process everything she just said.

When I proposed the fake relationship idea, Callie told me it was nuts. But I was so determined to get Sienna back, so determined to make it work.

Just like when I was a stupid ten-year-old kid, convincing my sister to run off into the woods with me.

“I was doing the exact same thing with Sienna that I did with Mom and Dad,” I mutter after a long moment. “I was pulling some crazy shit to try to keep a bad relationship together.”

“Old habits die hard, huh?” Violet lets out a humorless chuckle.

I shake my head, closing my eyes. “Damn. When did you get so wise, little sis?”

I can practically hear her smirk through the phone. “Eh, must’ve been those few hours in the woods before we decided to go back. I really feel like I learned a lot that day.”

“Yeah, sure.” I roll my eyes, and she can probably sense that too, because she laughs.

There’s a moment of silence between us, and then her voice comes through again.

“I’m sorry, Reese. This sucks.”

“Yeah.” I rub a hand over my forehead, trying to banish the pain in my temples. “I just wish I hadn’t wasted so much time thinking Sienna was the one, when she clearly wasn’t.”

“Is Callie the one?” Violet asks, her voice soft.

“Yes.” The word comes out before I even have to think about it. Firm. Solid. Certain. “She’s everything to me, Vi. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love anyone the way I love her.”

“Then get your head out of your ass and fight for her.Notby pretending to date someone else, for fuck’s sake,” she clarifies, her tone taking on a warning edge. “No crazy schemes. But if you really care about her, don’t give up on her, or on the two of you. Tell her how you feel. Beg her for another chance. Get down on your damn knees and grovel if you have to, but make sure she knows how you feel about her.”

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