Page 10 of Family Like This

He nods. “It’s the first place I went. I’m happy, but this is hitting every anxiety trigger I have.”

I pull open the drawer on the coffee table and grab a notebook and pencil. “Let’s make a plan, then. You said lists and plans help you, right?”

He looks at me in surprise, then smiles. “Yeah. It does. Will that help you, though?”

Tears well in my eyes because I’m afraid to admit this. To own up to the fact that I felt better the second he walked in. “You being here helps. So we’ll eat and make a plan together. If you’re staying.”

He gives me an adorable half-smile, and I feel like I just got a glimpse of childhood him. “I’m staying.”

“Good.”

We eat in a comfortable silence, splitting the salad, then Miles eats the last burger I’m too full for as I steal some of his fries.

I could get used to this.

Excuse me?

Don’t you dare, heart. Don’t you dare.

Once we’ve finished eating, he sits in the corner of the couch and props his feet up on the coffee table. Then he rests his arm over the back of the couch and looks at me. Grabbing the notebook and pencil, I slide over and snuggle against him.

I’m a snuggler now.

Again, I feel annoyingly overwhelmed with emotion. My dad was my favorite person to snuggle with. I stopped ever trying to snuggle—or find someone to snuggle with—when he died. I shut down a lot of my affection in general, besides with my mother.

Miles runs his fingers down my arm. “Okay?”

I shake my head softly. I have no idea. “I thought I’d become a mom one day, but it would be when I was older, and I’d make the choice to do it alone.”

“And?” he asks, seeing through my words.

“I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m glad I’m doing this with you.”

“Me too.” He taps the pencil against the notebook. “Where should we start?”

“Let’s make a page for each month of pregnancy. We’re already done with month one and halfway through month two, so go us.”

He chuckles and writes downMonth 1.Then underneath he scribblesMake a baby.He grins at me as he puts a checkmark next to it. “Nailed it.”

“Awesome,” I say with a laugh. “Now on to month two.”

He nods, then goes through and writes headings for each month, then for the first three after the baby is born. He swallows hard as he turns back to month two.

“Amelia?”

“Yeah?” He looks at me hesitantly, so I wrap my hand around his. “Ask me anything.”

“I just need to know, so I can set my expectations correctly… are you saying no to us forever or for now?” His voice is raspy and his eyes are gleaming with emotion.

I swallow against the dryness in my throat and say what I hope is the truth. What Iwantto be the truth. “For now.”

His eyes light up and a smile grows on his face. How did he learn to smile so perfectly? Was he a child model or something?

He wraps his hand around the side of my neck, then dips his head down and gives me a soft but powerful kiss. The kind that tells me no matter what lines I’m trying to draw, they’re formed in wet sand, and soon enough they’ll be washed away. Just like my resolve.

Chapter two

Love Gutter

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