Page 77 of Family Like This

“I wish I wouldn’t have wasted so much time,” he mutters as he leans back and wipes his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“When I woke up and saw her covered in blood—” His voice trembles. “She was so pale. I thought…” He shakes his head. “This procedure is simple enough, but there are no guarantees, and as much as I like to say we’ll die together, that might not be possible. Today put it all into perspective. If her bleeding had been worse or I’d woken up a little later...” He chokes up again. “The thought that I could’ve lost a babyandmy wife? Well, you might as well throw me in the ground, too. I’m sitting here now so aware of every moment I should’ve been with her but wasn’t. We wasted so much time. So much. Years where we could’ve been fully loving each other if we hadn’t been so afraid. Learn from that,” he says to me. “Pete told us not to waste our minutes, and we shouldn’t. No one should. Life is too short and uncertain to waste a second not living the life you want or being honest with the people you love. When Rae and I do get to have kids one day, I want them to know that. It’s one mistake I don’t want anyone to repeat.”

His words are sobering. I’ve been holding back from Amelia. Holding back admitting what I want us to be and how deeply I love her, all out of fear. If I were in Aaron’s situation right now, I’d hate myself for not telling her I love her. I never want to lose her, but I can’t control that, and I want her to know how I feel in case something happens to either of us.

Fuck, I need to make a will.

What a lovely, morbid thought for a twenty-two-year-old. But I need to make sure Ames and the baby are taken care of if anything happens to me.

Knowing this train of thought could send me on a dark anxiety spiral, I focus back on Aaron.

“It’s true, you didn’t admit the depth of your feelings to each other, and sure, maybe you could’ve been kissing more, but you both knew the amount of love that you have for each other. You had a beautiful friendship, and even though you brought a little more drama than necessary, you always had each other. That never changed.”

I get a tiny smile for that. “I suppose that’s true. Maybe I’m regretting the first half of senior year more than anything.”

“Yeah, you two were pretty dumb, but you got through it. You both grew a lot, and now you have a beautiful, strong foundation that will carry you through all the hard things. Like this. And when you need a little more support, you have all of us.”

He looks at me and nods. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Now, have you eaten anything? Had anything to drink?”

He looks down. “No.”

“Rae told you to, didn’t she?”

He laughs. “Yep.”

I smack his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go down to the waiting room. I’ll get you some food and water. And she”—I point to the door—“is going to be okay. We’ll all make sure of it.”

Again, he nods, then stands up, and silently, we walk down the hall together.

“Do you need anything?” I ask Amelia, grazing my thumb down her arm as we sit in the waiting room. Rae got out of surgery a half hour ago and everyone has been taking turns going in to see her. Aaron hasn’t left her side except when her parents went back so she could have a few minutes with both of them.

“I’m okay. I need to pee, though.”

I smile at that. “Good. You’ve been drinking enough water.”

She sighs and laughs. “Yes.” Then she leans in and whispers. “I’ve learned the benefit of being a good girl.”

“Ames…” I love when this side of her pops out. I’ve seen it more often in the second trimester.

“Sorry. Totally inappropriate, but the bossy side of you brings it out.”

“I like it,” I whisper, squeezing her thigh.

Aaron and Mackie walk into the waiting room. “She’s good to go home. They’re getting the paperwork together, and then we’ll be heading out. I appreciate you all being here to support us.” He clears his throat. “From here, we’ll let you know what we need. I’m going to run to the bathroom and grab a coffee before we leave.”

“I’ll keep Rae company,” Sarah says.

“Do you mind if I go back instead?” I ask.

Sarah smiles. “No. Go ahead.”

I turn to Amelia. “Want to come with me?”

She takes a breath and glances around, then shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Her eyes drop to her stomach.

---