Page 101 of Family Like This

Nope.

Package up those feelings and save them for another day.

Katie and Dani find me again and suggest we open presents. Miles and I are seated at the front of the room with Dani next to me handing presents and letting us know who they’re from as Katie, on the other side of Miles, writes it down.

“Ready for this?” Miles asks.

I truly don’t know what to expect. The last time I opened presents in front of people, I was seven, I think.

“I guess we’ll see.”

Dani hands me the first present, and we get started. There are books, clothes, keepsake items, and more diapers than I could’ve imagined. Lots of sweet cards with little notes in them. I’m honored and humbled by the number of people here—not just for Miles or our baby, but for me.

Dani hands me another present, and I open the wrapping paper, finding a handful of onesies. They have all sorts of cute phrases on them including,One Cool KidandMommy’s Rockstar.But then I see one that saysDaddy’s Girland tears flood my eyes.

Crap.I don’t want to cry here. Not now.

When my mother and I were going through our storage unit after we got back from our time traveling, we found a tote of my old baby clothes. I didn’t bother keeping most things, but when I pulled out theDaddy’s Girlonesie, my mom said I should keep it.Who knows, maybe one day you’ll have a daughter who loves her daddy almost as much as you loved yours.Did I sob when she said that? Yep. Exactly what I’m trying not to do now.

“Are you okay?” Miles asks.

I swallow back the lump in my throat, nodding. “Yes. I’m fine. I used to have a onesie like that one. Got lost in a memory, that’s all.”

He looks at me like he doesn’t believe me, but since the entire room is staring at us, he lets it go.

We finish opening presents, and though I desperately need to take a moment to collect myself, Katie and Dani whisk Miles and me away again to one of the tables where Rae, Sarah, Mackenzie, and their mothers are waiting.

“We have one last gift for you,” Katie says, “but we wanted to give it to you privately. Many of the women here contributed, but we put it together for you.”

Kara sets a beautifully wrapped box on the table. “When Rae got married, we started a tradition of asking the women in her life to write out special notes or letters full of advice and love. We did the same for Sarah, and we wanted to put a twist on it for you today.” She nods to the box. “Go ahead.”

With shaking hands, I reach for the box, carefully unwrapping the paper. I pull the top off the box, revealing a beautiful photo album or memory book. Lifting it out, I set it on the table and open the cover. The first page has one of my maternity pictures on it. It’s a side profile of me alone, looking away from the camera with my hands draped on my stomach. Beneath the photo, it reads:

To Amelia

A book full of funny stories, words of advice, and an abundance of love.

Emotion clogs my throat, but I try to control myself.

“This is beautiful,” I say, as I flip to the first page. Though I don’t read through what everyone wrote, I flip through the pages to see who contributed to this beautiful gift. Each person has a full spread with their name and a baby photo of them on one side and what they’ve written on the other. Varying emotions roll through me as I look at these pages, all filled with a full page’s worth of words for me. Many from people I’m still getting to know. Love overflows from the pages of this book, and after the weight of yesterday, it’s enough to do me in. Just when I’m starting to think I’m in the clear, I flip to the last page and see a baby photo I instantly recognize. It’s my mother.

Locks crack inside me and walls come crumbling down as tears slide down my cheeks. I look to the side where her words of advice should be. What I see is Katie’s handwriting with bullet-pointed lines. I turn to her with questioning eyes.

“I know you can’t have words of wisdom from your mother the way you want to, but you deserve to have something, so on her best days, I asked her questions and got the advice she’d give.”

I run my hand over the page, tears blurring my vision so much I almost miss the most important thing. At the bottom of the page is a small piece of paper with her handwriting.

I love you, Amelia. -Mom

I go from crying to sobbing as I stare at the words. I never thought I’d see her handwriting again. Miles rubs his hand down my back as I lift my gaze from the book.

“Thank you,” I mutter, the words barely understandable. “This means so much to me.” I do my best to get my tears under control, then look at the wonderful group of women surrounding me. “Sorry I’m crying so much.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Kara says, rubbing my arm. “It’s an emotional time.”

She doesn’t know how accurate that statement is or how it’s only fifty percent pregnancy making me an emotional trainwreck.

Suddenly aware that I’m in a large room surrounded by many people who are watching this little breakdown in real time, I excuse myself and hurry to the bathroom, mumbling something about how I’m okay and just need a minute. Miles comes after me, but I shut the bathroom door and lock it first.

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