I turn on the stove to fry up some good old-fashioned bacon and pancakes. The smell that wafts the kitchen has me feeling hungry. For a moment, while I concentrate on cooking, I'm able to forget all about Grant.
"Mommy," I hear my daughter's voice, still sounding groggy from just waking up. I turn towards the kitchen entryway. My daughter, still in her pajamas, is rubbing her eyes sleepily as she comes closer to take a seat at the table.
"Morning, sweetie," I greet her with a smile. She returns my smile with one of her own. And let me tell you, it's moments like these that make being a mother worth it.
"Good morning, mommy," she greets back.
"You woke up early," I say, half my focus on what I'm cooking.
"I woke up from the smell of pancakes," she smiles, looking eager to have some.
I chuckle. Pancakes are one of her favorites. I put some pancakes on a plate and place it in front of Lauralee. I put a slice of butter on the stack, and Lauralee's eyes shine excitedly as the butter melts all over the pancakes.
"Would you like some syrup?" I ask, getting an excited nod in reply.
I get the bottle of syrup and place it next to the pancakes.
She grabs on to the bottle and squeezes a good amount of syrup on her pancakes.
She immediately takes a fork-full, chewing happily before swallowing.
"Slow down. No one's going to take that away from you," I say, finding my daughter's eagerness adorable.
She nods, trying to chew some more before swallowing. "Good girl," I say.
She smiles.
"I'm sorry, mommy. The pancakes you make are awesome!" she says in between mouthfuls.
I chuckle, "It's alright, Lauralee."
I start eating some bacon and pancakes, my thoughts sometimes drifting to Grant.
I heave a heavy sigh, which catches my daughter's attention.
"Are you okay, Mommy?" Lauralee says, looking concerned.
"I'm fine, Lauralee," I tell her, but she looks like she doesn't quite believe me.
"Where's Grant?" she asks.
I feel a twinge of hurt. Lauralee is getting too attached to Grant, just like I am.
Am I doing the right thing? I'm getting my daughter involved in this mess.
This isn't good. It's one thing if I'm the only one who gets hurt, but my daughter is another. I shouldn't have exposed her so much to Grant. She's going to have expectations. She's still a kid, after all.
I can tell, with the way she sometimes looks at Grant, that she's yearning for a father-figure. As much as I want to give that to her, I know that Grant's not the answer to my daughter's search for a father.
I don't know what to do. I need to think about it. In the meantime, sticking to being professional seems to be the right choice. If things get worse, I can always back out of our deal.
"What do you want to do for the day?" I ask, putting on a smile on my face, in an attempt to change the topic. Thankfully, she doesn't ask any further.
Her face scrunches into a look of concentration. I stare, amusedly at my daughter's thoughtful expression. Her eyes light up, and I can tell that she already has an idea in that little head of hers.
"How about we go to the pool?" she says excitedly, her eyes shining hopefully.
I review some of the work that I need to finish in my head. I think I was able to complete my work for the week. I can spend the whole day with Lauralee.