Page 63 of Be My Compass

Who we are is both simple and complicated.

It makes no sense.

But it is.

It exists.

Like the sun. Like the moon.

Like air.

I’m broken. And she’s the gold that slips between my creases.

She’s the heat that fuses me back together.

With her help, I became something that could function.

Lust can turn that on its head.

It can burn and singe and roar.

It can destroy.

It destroys beautiful things when it’s out of control.

Like I am.

But I’m self-aware enough to know it.

I hear footsteps. A soft thud. Kaelyn’s joined me in reality. She’s standing next to the ladder that leads up into the slide, her hands together and her heels pressing into the earth.

She clears her throat. “Sorry.”

“About what?”

“Nothing.” She glances away.

Silence fills the space between us and makes what was simple become complex.

I shift awkwardly.

There’s no tiptoeing around it.

I turn to her. “That kiss was…”

“Practice.”

My eyebrows shoot up. “Practice.”

“For next Saturday.” She looks up. Smiles. I can see through it. She’s hiding from me. “For the press. Your mom.”

“Practice,” I say the word like it’s foreign. Like it’s Mandarin. The language people expect me to know. The language I don’t.

She bounces on the tips of her toes. Her voice is bright. Forced. “It’s not weird.”

“Kae…”

“Not unless we make it weird.” She looks up at me.

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