The Montelli wedding service was conducted at St Mark’s Basilica in Venice and Izzy took her assigned seat near the front on the groom’s side while Andrea went forward to stand with Patrizio at the altar as his best man. The front of the church was beautifully adorned with flowers and each pew draped with white ribbons and bows and more garlands of flowers. A boy soprano choir sang with such exquisite scalp-tingling perfection, Izzy had tears sprouting in her eyes and a thickness developing in her throat. If she had been the type to imagine a dream wedding, then this would have been close to it. It was a painful reminder of how cold and impersonal her wedding ceremony to Andrea had been. It had been little more than a business transaction and, while their relationship had improved over the last couple of weeks, it didn’t erase the fact that their marriage was not for ever.
The organist began playing the Wedding March and the congregation audibly drew in a collective breath when the bridesmaids—led by Patrizio’s stepdaughter Alexis—came up the aisle. Dressed in the softest shade of rose, each bridesmaid carried a posy of tea roses and the cute little flower girl, who was only about three years old, carried a little basket of rose petals, but she proved too shy to do much other than hold her head down and clutch the hand of the nearest bridesmaid.
And then it was time for the bride to enter the church. Izzy turned and watched Patrizio’s bride Elena walk up the aisle in a wedding dress that was like something out of a fairy tale. With a lace bodice and long sleeves and a full skirt with a partial train and a voluminous veil, Elena glowed with beauty and happiness.
Izzy tried to suppress the pangs of envy but the closer the bride got to her beaming-with-pride groom, the worse she felt. It was as if someone was crushing her heart inside her chest when she thought of her own wedding day. Her travesty of a wedding ceremony with its impersonal witnesses and cynical seen-it-all-before marriage celebrant. The ceremony where no feelings were involved, no future planned, no promises of forever.
Just words without meaning, without conviction and commitment.
She glanced at Andrea but he was concentrating on his role as best man, although Izzy noticed Alexis casting him covert glances and blushing. The teenager reminded Izzy of herself at that age—awkward, not quite an adult and yet not really a child. Caught in a weird limbo with hormones and urgings but without the maturity to deal with them.
It was a painful reminder of all the mistakes Izzy had made in trying to get her father’s attention.
So many mistakes. Mistakes she was still paying for now.
The service began and the bride and groom exchanged heartfelt vows. Izzy swallowed a lump in her throat as the bride and groom kissed. Andrea’s eyes met hers and Izzy gave him a smile that was so tight it felt like her mouth would crack.
By the time the bridal procession left the church and the official photos were taken it was over an hour before Izzy got anywhere near Andrea. She felt like an extra on a film set. Not important enough to be in the main cast, just a walk-on figure.
But that was exactly what she was in Andrea’s life. A walk-on part. A temporary bride who had no hope of a more permanent role. How could she have agreed to such an arrangement when she could have had what Patrizio and Elena had? No one looking at the new bride and groom could be in any doubt of their feelings for each other. Real feelings. Genuine feelings, not pretend.
Why couldn’t Andrea look at her like that?
Izzy met his gaze during the reception and tried to fool herself he was looking at her like that, but then she realised he was acting the role of devoted husband. It was a jarring echo of what her father used to do. Pretending. Playing to an audience. There was nothing genuine about her relationship with Andrea, apart from the desire they shared. But how soon would that burn out for him? He was known for only staying with a lover for a month or so. She had been with him a little over two weeks. Would she be able to hold his interest for another five and a half months? How could she live with him, pretending she was happy with how things were?
She wasn’t happy.
How could she be when all she had ever wanted was to be loved for who she was? Accepted and valued, not expected to be someone she could never be. Could she really pretend she was fine with how things were for another few months and then smile and wave goodbye when it was over? Didn’t Andrea want more than a six-month affair? Especially after all they had shared both physically and emotionally? She had fooled herself he was getting close to her. He had shared his painful past, as she had shared hers.
Didn’t that mean he felt something for her that he hadn’t felt for anyone else?
The reception was being held at a private villa along the canals. The bridal party were transported in gondolas, but again Izzy felt on the outside, arriving on foot and having to sit with people she didn’t know because Andrea was on the top table.
During the reception Andrea introduced her to Patrizio and Elena and Alexis, holding Izzy close to his side and smiling down at her with every appearance of being madly in love, but Izzy felt even more conflicted. More of a fraud. More of a misfit. More miserable. Every smile he sent her way made her heart contract. Every touch of his made something in her stomach plummet in despair because she knew the truth even if the wedding party and guests did not.
Andrea didn’t love her. If he did wouldn’t he have said so? Wouldn’t he have taken the time limit off their relationship? Wouldn’t he have at least hinted that things had changed for him? That his feelings had changed?
‘Is everything all right, cara?’ Andrea asked, drawing Izzy to one side during the last stages of the reception.
‘We need to talk.’ Izzy kept her frozen smile in place in case any wedding guests were watching.
He cupped her face, his brown eyes dark with concern. ‘Tired? Sorry it’s been such a long day for you. We can’t leave until the bride and groom go, but it won’t be long now.’
Izzy couldn’t bear for another minute to go past without telling him how she felt. She looked up into his eyes and tried to keep hers from tearing up. ‘I can’t do this, Andrea. I just can’t.’
His hands took her gently by the upper arms. ‘Are you still unwell? I’m sorry, I should have asked earlier.’
Izzy moved out of his hold and stepped further into the quiet alcove they were in. She crossed her arms over her body, suddenly chilled although the night was warm. ‘I’m not sick. I’m just sick of pretending. I can’t do it. It feels wrong to be fooling everyone our relationship is something it’s not and never will be.’
A flicker of annoyance passed over his features. ‘Can’t this wait until we get back to our hotel?’
Izzy stood her ground, facing him with what was left of her pride. ‘Did you feel anything during that wedding ceremony today? Anything at all?’
His expression tightened into a mask of steel. ‘Isabella. This is not the time or place for this discussion.’
‘I asked you a simple question.’
‘And I told you I am not going to discuss this here.’ His tone was so cold she felt another shiver pass over her flesh.