Page 30 of His Innocent's Passionate Awakening

Once his grandfather had been wheeled out of the room, Luca leaned back in the visitors’ chair in his grandfather’s private room and stretched out his legs and closed his eyes. Hospitals stirred emotions in him he didn’t want to feel. It was a trigger response to tragedy. Being surrounded by death and disease and uncertainty caused an existential crisis in even the most level-headed of people. Being reminded of a loved one’s mortality and your own. It would be a long wait until Nonno came out of theatre and then recovery but he wanted to be here when his grandfather came back. His gut churned and his heart squeezed and his breath caught.

If he came back...

* * *

Artie put her small overnight case in the back of Rosa’s car and pressed the button to close the boot. She took a deep breath and mentally counted to three on releasing it. She came around to the passenger side and took another breath. ‘Okay. I can do this.’

I have to do this. For Luca. For myself. For his grandfather.

She got in the car and pulled the seatbelt into place, her heart pounding, her skin prickling with beads of perspiration.

Rosa started the engine and shifted the gearstick into ‘drive’. ‘Are you sure about this?’

Artie nodded with grim determination. ‘I’m sure. It won’t be easy but I want to be with Luca. I need to be with him.’

Rosa drove towards the bronze gates, which opened automatically because of the sensors set on either side of the crushed limestone driveway. Artie concentrated on her breathing, trying to ignore the fear that was like thousands of sticky-footed ants crawling over her skin. Her chest was tight, her heart hammering like some sort of malfunctioning construction machinery, but she was okay...well, a little bit okay.

Rosa flicked a worried glance her way. ‘How are you doing?’

Artie gripped the strap of the seatbelt that crossed her chest. Her stomach had ditched the butterflies and recruited bats instead. Frantically flapping bats. ‘So far, so good. Keep going. We’re nearly outside.’

They drove the rest of the way out of the gates and Artie held her breath, anticipating a crippling flood of panic. But instead of the silent screams of terror inside her head, she heard Luca’s calm, deep voice, coaching her through the waves of dread.

‘Breathe, cara. One. Two. Three.’

It wasn’t the first time someone had taught her breath control—two of the therapists had done so with minimal results. But for some reason Luca’s voice was the one she listened to now. It gave her the courage to go further than she had gone in over a decade. Out through the castello gates and into the outside world.

Artie looked at Rosa and laughed. ‘I did it! I’m out!’

Rosa blinked away tears. ‘Sì, you’re out.’

Artie wished she could say the rest of the journey was easy. It was not. They had to stop so many times for her to get control of her panic. The nausea at one stage was so bad she thought she was going to vomit. She distracted herself with the sights and sounds along the way. Looking at views she never thought she would see again—the rolling, verdant fields, the lush forests and the mountains, the vineyards and orchards and olive groves of Umbria. Scenes from her childhood, places she had travelled past with her parents. The memories were happy and sad, poignant and painful, and yet also gave her a sense of closure. It was time to move on. Luca had given her the tools and the motivation to change her thinking, to shift her focus. And the further away from the castello they got, the easier it became, because she knew she was getting closer to Luca.

But then they came to the hospital.

Artie had forgotten about the hospital. Hospitals. Busyness. Crowds. People rushing about. Patients, staff, cleaners, security personnel. The dead, the dying and the injured. A vision of her mother’s lifeless, bruised and broken body flashed into her brain. A vision of her father in the Critical Care Spinal Unit, his shattered spine no longer able to keep him upright.

Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.

She had destroyed her family.

Artie gripped the edges of her seat, her heart threatening to pound its way out of her chest. ‘I can’t go in there. I can’t.’

Rosa parked the car in the visitor’s parking area and turned off the engine. ‘You’ve come this far.’

‘It was a mistake.’ Artie closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at the front entrance. ‘I can’t do this. I’m not ready.’

I will never be ready.

‘What if I call Luca to come out and get you?’

Artie opened her eyes and took a deep breath and slowly released it. Luca was inside that building. She was only a few metres away from him. She had come this far, further than she had in ten years. All she had to do was get to Luca. ‘No. I’m not giving up now. I want to be with Luca more than anything. But I need to do this last bit on my own. You can go home and I’ll talk to you in a few days once we know what’s happening with Luca’s grandfather.’ She released her tight grip on the car seat and smoothed her damp palms down her thighs. ‘I’m ready. I’m going in. Wish me luck?’

Rosa smiled and brushed some tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘You’ve got this.’

* * *

Luca opened his eyes when he heard the door of his grandfather’s room open, but instead of seeing a nurse come in he saw Artie. For a moment he thought he was dreaming. He blinked and blinked again then sprang out of the chair, taking her by the arms to make sure she was actually real and not a figment of his imagination. ‘Cara? How did you get here? I can barely believe my eyes.’

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