Page 23 of His Innocent's Passionate Awakening

Artie glanced at the front gates, her heart still banging against her breastbone. ‘I think I’m done for one day.’

He frowned. ‘You don’t want to try a little more? We’re almost there. Just a few more steps.’

She turned back to face the safety of the castello, breathing hard. ‘I’m sorry but I can’t do any more. I’ll try again tomorrow.’

And I’ll fail just like every other time.

Luca stroked his hand over the back of her head. ‘You did well, mia piccola.’

Artie gave him a rueful look. ‘I failed.’

He stroked her cheek with a lazy finger, his gaze unwavering. ‘Failure is when you give up trying.’ He took her hand again with another smile. ‘Come on. It’s thirsty work wrestling demons, sì?’

Once they were back inside the castello in the salon, Artie let out a sigh. ‘It’s not that I don’t want to go outside...’

He handed her a glass of mineral water. ‘What are you most frightened of?’

She took the glass from him and set it on the table next to her, carefully avoiding his gaze. ‘I’m frightened of hurting people.’

‘Why do you think you’ll hurt someone?’

Artie lifted her eyes to his. ‘It was my fault we had the accident.’

Luca frowned and came over to sit beside her, taking her hands in his. ‘But you weren’t driving, surely? You were only fifteen, sì?’

She looked down at their joined hands, her chest feeling so leaden it was almost impossible to take in another breath. ‘I wanted to go to a party. My parents didn’t want me to go but like teenagers do, I wouldn’t take no for an answer. They relented and I went to the party, which wasn’t as much fun as I’d hoped. And when my parents picked me up that night...well, my father was tired because it was late and he didn’t see the car drifting into his lane in time to take evasive action. I woke up in hospital after being in a coma for a month to find my mother had died instantly and my father was in a wheelchair.’

Luca put his arms around Artie and held her close. ‘I’m sorry. I know there are no words to take away the guilt and sadness but you were just a kid.’

Artie eased back to look up at him through blurry vision. ‘I haven’t ever met anyone else who truly understood.’ She twisted her mouth wryly, ‘Not that I’ve met a lot of people in the last ten years.’ She lifted her hand to his face and stroked his lean jaw and added. ‘But I think you do understand.’

A shadow passed through his gaze and he pulled her hand down from his face. ‘You don’t know me, cara. You don’t know what I’m capable of.’ His voice contained a note of self-loathing that made the back of her neck prickle.

‘Why do you say that?’

He sprang off the sofa in an agitated fashion. ‘I haven’t told you everything about the day my father and brother died.’

She swallowed tightly. ‘Do you want to tell me now?’ Her voice came out whisper-soft.

Luca pulled at one side of his mouth with his straight white teeth, his hands planted on his slim hips. Then he released a ragged breath. ‘It was my fault they drowned. We were on holiday in Argentina. We had gone to an isolated beach because I’d heard the waves were best there. I wanted to go back in for another surf even though the conditions had changed. I didn’t listen to my father. I just raced back in and soon got into trouble.’ He winced as if recalling that day caused him immeasurable pain. ‘My father came in after me and then my brother. The rip took them both out to sea. I somehow survived. I can never forgive myself for my role in their deaths. I was selfish and reckless, and in trying to save me, they both lost their lives.’

Artie went to him and grasped him by both hands. ‘Oh, Luca, you were only a child. Kids do stuff like that all the time, especially teenage boys. You mustn’t blame yourself. But I understand how you do...you see, I blame myself for my mother’s death and my dad’s disability.’

‘I do understand.’ His eyes were full of pain. ‘There were times when I wished I had been the one to die. I’m sure you wished the same. But that doesn’t help anyone, does it?’

‘No...’ She leaned her head against the solid wall of his chest, slipping her arms back around his waist. ‘Thank you.’

‘For?’ The deep, low rumble of his voice reverberated next to her ear.

Artie looked back up at him. ‘For listening. For understanding. For not judging.’ She took a little hitching breath and added, ‘For wanting me when I thought no one ever could.’

Luca brushed his thumb over the fullness of her lower lip, setting off a firestorm in her flesh. ‘I want you. I’ve tried ignoring it, denying it, resisting it, but it won’t go away.’ His voice dropped to a lower pitch, tortured almost, as if he was fighting a battle within himself between what he should do and what he shouldn’t.

Artie licked her lips and encountered the saltiness of his thumb. ‘I want you too.’ She touched his firm jaw with her hand. ‘I don’t see why we have to stick to the rules. We are attracted to each other physically. Why not enjoy the opportunity? How else am I going to gain experience? I’m hardly going to meet anyone whilst living here, and we’re married anyway, so why not?’ She could hardly believe how brave she was being, speaking her needs out loud. But something about Luca made her feel brave and courageous. His desire for her spoke to her on a cellular level, making her aware of her body and its needs in a way she hadn’t thought possible.

Luca cupped one side of her face in his hand, his thumb stroking over her cheek in slow, measured strokes. A frown settled between his brows, his eyes darker than she had ever seen them. ‘Is that really want you want? A physical relationship, knowing it will end after six months?’

Maybe it won’t end.

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