Page 32 of Mine To Honor (Southern Wedding)

“Okay,” he replies, walking over to the mat and trying to decide how he’s going to sit down with Cici. I peel the potatoes the whole time, looking over to see Levi.

“We got this,” he assures Cici. “Maybe we don’t got this,” he recants as he gets to his knees, “but we are going to try.” I can’t help but smile as I dice the potatoes and place them in a pot of water before walking back over to where the peppers and onion are as I slice them. “We did it.” I hear Levi say and look over to see him smiling down at Cici as she sits in the middle of his legs. He reaches forward to grab the square activity toy that she loves. She smacks her hands down on the square before reaching out and grabbing the side of one square, as she presses the button. “That’s red,” he tells her and I can’t help but smile. “What’s that sound?” he asks gently. “That’s a cow.”

I turn around and grab a pan, placing it on the stove and then adding olive oil to it. I look over again to make sure he’s okay. I see Cici look up at him as he tells her all the colors on the square toy. He could literally be reciting the phone book and she would be interested in him. I turn back, tossing the peppers and onions in the pan before grabbing the knife and slicing the sausage. I’m beyond exhausted, the past week has been crazy almost twenty-hour days. After working at the salon all day long, I would rush over to Lisa’s place, and every night I would put Cici in her bed while I would work through packing up her place. Usually she slept the night, but then she would wake up crying and calling out for Mama. I didn’t know if sleeping in the house made her think Lisa was going to be there or not. I debated not sleeping there, but I wanted to get it over with.

I know I should have gotten someone to do it. Everyone I know told me the same thing over and over again, but I just felt like I needed to do it. I had to do it for her and for Cici. The hardest thing I ever did was going through her clothes. Packing her stuff, I did put a box aside for Cici for when she got older. It was the outfit she wore when she was christened, knowing that the pictures would be forever in her room. The outfit she would always be in, and the minute I saw it, it took me an hour to pick myself up off the floor. All her jewelry is put aside, waiting for me to find the time to open a safety-deposit box for when Cici wants it. There is no way I can chance losing that.

I thought cleaning out her clothes was hard. It was nothing like cleaning out her bedside night tables. You don’t know what you keep in there, but Lisa had pictures of the three of us in there. She even had a picture of our mother. She had so many little books stacked in one drawer, I thought they were books until I picked up one and it fell to the floor. It was as if someone knocked it out of my hand. When I bent over to pick it up, I saw that it was a journal. Lisa’s journal, the date entry at the top. My eyes roamed the page for a good couple of minutes before I shut it. There must have been over twenty of them in the drawer and another box full. They were also going in the safety-deposit box for Cici. When she was old enough, I would give her the key and she could do what she wanted with them.

“What is she cooking?” I hear Levi’s voice, so I look over at him. “Whatever it is, it sure does smell good.” He looks down at Cici. “Are you hungry?”

Cici just babbles back at him. “I know, me, too, girl, me, too.” I can’t help but laugh as I toss the sausage into the pan and stir everything together before placing the cover half on it.

I move over to the freezer, opening it. “Should we do chicken and carrots with peas?” I ask over my shoulder. “Or broccoli, carrots, and tofu?”

“Eww,” Levi says. “Pick A, girl,” he whispers in her ear, “pick A.”

“If she doesn’t eat tofu today, she is going to eat it tomorrow.” I laugh at him as I walk over, grabbing another pot to cook her food.

It takes me a good thirty minutes before all the food is done. “Can you put her in her chair?” I ask Levi, who nods at me. He grabs her around her chest with one arm as he pushes himself up.

He walks over to her chair beside the table, the one I unpacked this afternoon. “Um,” he ponders, “how do I?” I walk over to him, taking Cici from him.

“You just need to…” I place her in the chair as she slides down on her bum, before I buckle her in. I look over at him and he grimaces.

“I’m never doing that; you can hurt her legs.”

“I promise you, I’m not hurting her,” I assure him as I put a bib on her.

“I’ll do the plates,” he states to me, “you feed her.” He points at her as he walks over and prepares us two plates. The two of us sit with Cici between us in her chair. He watches my every single move as I feed her.

When she starts to get cranky, I look over and see that it’s almost six thirty, Cici is a creature of habit. So I know I have thirty minutes to get her washed and in bed. “I’m going to go and give her a bath,” I announce, taking the bib off and placing it on the high chair.

I walk up the steps toward the bathroom and I’m shocked when I feel him right behind me. “What are you doing?” I ask as I turn on the lights.

“I think I should know this, too,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets as he leans against the doorjamb. “What if they ask me about this?” I point at the bathtub.

“Well,” I start to tell him as I grab the white towel, placing it on the rug before laying her down on it. “The first thing is to put her down.” I point at Cici. “And then start the water.” I reach for the yellow duck in the corner that tells you the temperature. “Toss this in there to make sure that it’s not too hot. Then you add a couple of the other toys.” I point at the net that is in the corner drying out the toys from the night before.

He stands up. “Wait,” he says, grabbing his phone from his pocket. “What temp should it be?”

I laugh at him. “Between ninety-five and a hundred.” I shrug my shoulder. “You can feel it with your hand, it shouldn’t be too hot, then you undress her.” I move back over to Cici, who is now kicking her feet and turning over. “Which is easier said than done,” I joke, turning her over. Levi comes in and squats down beside her.

“Look at the phone,” he tells Cici, handing her the phone, shocking me as she takes it from him and babbles, but it gives me enough time to get her undressed. “Once she’s undressed, you just place her in the tub.” I grab the phone from her and hand it back to Levi before placing her in the tub.

“Okay, I think I can handle that. I’m going to go clean up the kitchen and I’ll be back for after-bath talk.” I nod at him, sitting beside the tub washing Cici.

“Wash, wash, wash,” I singsong as I wash her. “Scrub, scrub, scrub.” Her hands slap the water, making it go everywhere. “Splash, splash, splash.”

I take her out of the bath and wrap her in the white towel before entering her bedroom. It was a spare bedroom, but as of this morning, it’s now hers.

“Holy crap.” I hear from beside me. “Is this all hers?” Levi asks as he walks into the room.

“Yeah.” I walk to the changing table. “They picked it up this morning and I spent all day making sure it was just like home,” I inform him as I grab the lavender cream. He stands beside me as I get her ready for bed.

Cici starts to get cranky by the time I’m buttoning up her pj’s. “Here, rock her while I go get her bottle.” I hand her to him and he walks to the corner where the rocking chair sits.

I rush downstairs, seeing the kitchen spotless, all the food put away. I grab a bottle and press the button. The best thing ever invented was this bottle machine. You put in the powdered formula, making you a warm bottle every time. It’s a Keurig but for kids. I turn off the lights before walking upstairs. “And then when we met, she fell madly in love with me.” He looks up at me, a smile filling his face. “I’m telling her how we met.” I can’t help but roll my eyes, trying not to smile at him.

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