Page 11 of Mine To Honor (Southern Wedding)

“I’m just making sure that you get in the elevator safe.” He leans against the doorjamb. “Besides, if you end up onDateline,I’m not going to be the asshole who didn’t watch you get into the elevator.”

The elevator pings, and I step into it, pressing the L button before looking at him. “You can close your door now. If I get murdered, you’ll look like a bang-up guy who didn’t even walk me to my car.” He looks at me, shocked. “After my sister died,” I toss out right before the doors close and see him racing toward the elevator. I can’t help the tears from rolling down my cheeks as I swallow down the lump in my throat. Today has, without a doubt, been the hardest day I’ve ever had, and even when I buried my grandmother, this is ten times worse because of Cici. I went to work thinking everything was going to be okay, but it wasn’t. I told Raquel, and she told me she would take care of everything. For once, I let her, and I spent the rest of the time on the phone with Lisa’s lawyer and then my lawyer. I wasn’t surprised Lisa had everything in place. That was just the thing she would do to make sure she was taken care of and so was Cici. She never wanted to be a burden to anyone, not even in death.

I don’t even know how I make it home. I don’t even know what route I took or if there was traffic. All I know is I walk into my house and go straight for the stairs to my bedroom. My house. A house I worked my ass off to buy. A house that is small but perfect. A house I’ve wanted all my life.

I walk through my bedroom to my bathroom, turning on the water in the tub before sliding out of my jeans and T-shirt. The room is in darkness still, the only light is from the outside coming into the open shades. I sink into the deep tub I had put in after I moved in, because the tub before was small and I wanted to be able to sink into the water. I submerge into the water, wetting my hair. I tilt my head back before coming out of the water. This time I don’t know if it’s my tears that are wetting my face or if it’s the water from the bath. I look to the side as memories of my sister run through my head like a movie over and over again. Staying in the water until it’s ice cold, I slip on my robe and head straight to my bed. Tossing the covers back, I don’t even bother taking off the throw pillows before putting my head down.

Sleep doesn’t come, or if it does it’s in spurts of ten to fifteen minutes. I toss from one side to the other before finally giving up and walking downstairs. I grab one of my coffee mugs before putting a pod into the machine and pressing the button. I wait for the last drop before moving to the stainless-steel fridge and grabbing the milk. Once I fill the cup with the right amount of milk, I walk back upstairs to get ready for the day.

I put my cup of coffee down on the side table, right near the frame of Cici and myself on the day of her christening. I smile down at it as one lone tear falls down my cheek. I grab my phone and google how long a nine-month-old can remember things. I press enter and start down the rabbit hole to make sure that in the amount of time Cici will be without me she isn’t going to suffer a trauma from being ripped away from her mother. I’m in a sobbing fit by the time I put the phone down and walk over to get ready for the lawyer.

I pull out a black pair of capri pants that are tight on the hips and go wide on the way down. Slipping my sleeveless, black silk top off the hanger and putting it over my head, I’m tucking it in when I hear the front doorbell ring and the door open. “Eva.” I hear Levi’s voice.

“Upstairs, in my room!” I holler and hear his footsteps come closer and closer until he stands at the entrance to the bedroom. He’s wearing blue jeans and a baby-blue button-down shirt rolled from the wrist to his elbow.

“Hey,” he says, looking at my face, “you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just—” I look down and let the tears come. “I just don’t want her to think I just gave her away.” I wring my hands together.

“Eva.” He says my name and comes to me, taking me into his arms. He smells like soap and his aftershave. “She’s not even going to remember this.”

“It takes a month,” I inform him. “At six months, they forget after two weeks. Nine months it’s a month and a half.” He looks down at me. “Google.” I put my head back on his chest as he rubs my back. “Good news is they don’t understand the concept of time. It could be six hours or six months to them, it’s all the same.”

“How about we don’t google anything for a while?” he suggests.

“Good idea.” I step away from him and wipe my eyes. “How do I look?”

“Amazing,” he replies, and I can’t help but laugh when I know he’s lying. “A little rough, if we’re being honest.” He picks up a strand of my hair. “Are we brushing our hair or is this the new look?”

“Are we going for the slicked-back mobster look?” I ask of his hair that is pushed back and combed to the side.

“Ummm.” He puts his hands on his hips. “I got this look from your salon two weeks ago.” He pats his hair. “It was all the rage.”

I nod before going to the bathroom and looking at my hair. It’s all over the place because I went to bed with it wet. I don’t have time to tame it, so instead, I brush through it before separating it in the middle and putting it back at the nape of my neck in a ponytail. I walk out of the bathroom seeing Levi sitting on my bed, his head down, looking at his phone. “Better?” I ask, and he looks up.

“You look like a mom,” he responds to me and I smile sadly. “Let’s go so I can get you some coffee.”

I nod, grabbing my phone and the coffee cup before walking back down to the kitchen and putting the cup in the sink, then sliding on my black heels at the door. I grab my purse while Levi holds the door open for me, and the two of us make it to his car. I get in, and neither of us says anything. I’m sure his head is spinning as much as mine is.

When we get to the office, he puts the car in park, looking over at me. “You ready?” he asks.

“No.” I reach out to the door handle. “You?”

“Absolutely not,” he returns, reaching out and opening his door. I wait for him to join me before walking over to the glass door.

I pull open the door and step in, seeing Alice there waiting for us. “Welcome. Sorry, it’s Sunday, so there is no one here but me.”

“It’s more than okay. Thank you for making time,” I tell her as I step in. “This is Levi.” I introduce her, and he extends his hand to her.

“Pleasure,” he states, shaking her hand.

“Come with me.” Alice turns and walks down the hallway to her office. “Sit anywhere you like.” She waits for us to step into her office before she follows us in.

Levi puts his hand on the lower part of my back, ushering me to the two chairs that face her big mahogany desk. I sit down and look over to see Levi sitting beside me. Alice walks around the desk and sits down in the big brown chair. “Okay.” She smiles sadly at me. “The good news is we didn’t find another will, so what they have is the only one.”

“That’s good, right?” I ask and Alice nods.

“Does that mean she doesn’t need a husband?” Levi asks, and she looks at Levi.

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