Page 49 of Reaper

“Fucking gorgeous. Now go inside and lock the door before I move too fast,” I tell her as I unlock the door, opening it for her.

She giggles, stopping before she shuts the door.

“Maybe I wouldn’t mind you moving a bit fast if it means more of that.”

“Woman.” I lean in, grabbing her neck, pulling her to me for one last kiss.

She gasps, but when I look at her, I don’t see fear. I smile at that. She’s not afraid of me.

She trusts me.

“We do this at your pace. You’ve gone through something traumatic. I’m not here to push you into anything. So you run this. You’re the Queen Bee. Whatever pace you set, I follow. You say no at any time or change your mind, and it stops. I want to help you heal. Understood?”

She gives me a small smile. “I hear you. I think maybe I would like those therapy sessions you mentioned. Whenever you get a chance. I still have that money from William to pay for it too.”

Shaking my head, I caress her cheek. “For all I care, we can burn that money in the pit tonight. We don’t need a single fucking thing from that man. I’ll take care of you until you’re better.”

She starts shaking her head before I even finish my sentence.

“Harrison, I can’t do that. I need a job. I would feel like I’m relying on you too much.”

Taking a deep breath, I withhold the need to shake the girl until she sees what I’m saying. I want her to rely on me.

Instead, I breathe out slowly. “How about we make a deal? You concentrate on getting your mental health in check. Once you feel up to it, I’ll give you a job at the garage. We haven’t had anyone organize the office in a long time. Deal?”

“Deal.”

I chuckle. “You’ll regret that once you see how unorganized that place is.” Leaning in one last time, I press a soft kiss to her lips. “I’ll see you later, Queen Bee.”

She doesn’t know it, but I’ve just given her a road name.

I did it because I plan to keep her.

I hope she’s ready for that.

* * *

Leaning back against the locked bedroom door, my fingers find my lips.

They are tingling. I can’t remember the last time a kiss felt like something more than a duty.

My nerves are still a mess and half the time, I’m not sure I can trust my mind, but in that moment with Harrison, the world fell away. My mind went quiet as my body acted on instinct. For the first time in a long time, it felt right.

I didn’t want it to end.

I understood what he was saying though. We can’t move too fast. Not with me being the hot mess express that I am. I need to figure my life out and get back on the right track. Until I can trust myself again, I can’t give myself to another.

I mean, what if we started getting naked, and I flipped out? I would be more embarrassed than I am now. Not only that, but I might lose the one piece of light in my life right now.

Harrison might not realize it, but he has worked his way past my walls. I never thought that I would want to be with another man, but Harrison isn’t just any man.

He’s a good man. He proves it every single day. With the way he cares for me by just being there for me. The way he touches me gently with a bit of hesitation as if he doesn’t want to spook me. Or the way he makes sure the others around me are being careful with me. Hell, I know he makes Jacob hang around to be my gopher if I need anything. Neither will admit it, but I have a feeling Jacob didn’t spend this much time at the clubhouse before I came here.

I have a long way to go, but I am starting to feel a little bit less like the shell of a girl I was when I got here. I have him to thank for that.

The real question is, can I trust these feelings? What if I am using him as a crutch to get me through this time? Am I using him?

I would rather die than use him. He has been so kind to me.

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