Page 40 of Reaper

I know it. Harrison knows it. Hell, the whole clubhouse knows it.

I can tell by the way they watch me with caution as I make my way to the kitchen. They’ve all seen me flinch at sudden loud noises and cower when one of them gets a little too close unintentionally. Harrison didn’t leave my side at all last night. After he found me lost in my memories inside his closet, he held me until I was too exhausted to cry anymore.

For every step forward, you take two steps back, I think to myself.

I thought I was doing better, but that was quickly washed away.

Then Harrison took pity on me and stayed when I practically begged him to.

I half expected him to be gone this morning, but when I woke up with him spooning me, sound asleep, I was startled. After I realized it was him, I let myself bask in the safety I feel in his arms.

I don’t know what it is about him that makes me feel the way I do, but I’m grateful for it.

While I was in the shower, I heard him talking to someone on the phone. He was asking about therapy for me. I’m still too scared to leave the clubhouse, so I don’t know how he thinks he is going to get me to therapy. Even looking out the window makes me feel like I’m going to see William.

I didn't tell him that though. Nor did I tell him I was listening to his conversation. I wasn’t even trying to. It’s more of a bad habit I developed from living with William.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Harrison asks me as he leads me into the kitchen.

Today we woke up earlier than I normally do and there is a lot of activity. Many men move from station to station, grabbing food before heading back out. Usually by the time I venture out of Harrison’s room everyone is gone for the day.

An older woman with graying hair stands at the stove, stirring something.

“I don’t know,” I whisper.

Before this week, it’s been so long since I’ve had a choice.

The woman turns at the sound of my voice.

“Natalie, it is so lovely to meet you. I’m Elenore, Honk’s old lady. How are you feeling? Don’t answer that. That was a dumb question.”

The woman is already making a plate, pushing the big, burly men out of her way as she grabs different items. Once she’s done, she sets it down in front of me.

“Thank you. This looks delicious.” My tone is low, but she smiles at me anyway.

I flinch when one of the men gets a little close as they are leaving the kitchen. Elenore doesn’t miss it.

“Alright boys. I need you to move your asses and get out of my kitchen. Miss Natalie needs to eat in some quiet.”

I cringe at her words. I don’t need them hating me for this, but surprisingly, most of them shoot a smile my way as they get their food and leave.

“You too, Reaper. Let me have some girl talk with our new friend,” Elenore tells him before moving back to turn off the burner she had left on.

“Are you okay with that?” Harrison asks, his hand falling to the small of my back.

I study the woman for a moment before nodding. “She seems nice.”

Harrison leans in, whispering in my ear, “She’s the OG old lady here. She will take good care of you. I’m only a shout away if you need me though.”

He presses a quick kiss to my temple.

My stomach feels like a million butterflies have taken flight.

I give him an appreciative smile as he slides off his stool before walking away.

Once the doors close behind him, Elenore starts talking.

“If there is anything you ever want to talk about, I’m here for you. I know Evelyn said you weren’t planning to stay long, but that’s okay. I’ll be here even after you leave. What you did was so incredibly strong. I am so proud of you for having the courage to leave.” Elenore’s eyes tear up, making my own sting.

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