Page 16 of Shadows so Cruel

Asker gave a slow shake of his head. “She is hisanoaley. He would never do such a thing.”

“Never do…?” Well, shake my tail feathers and call me a peacock, in what kind of reality had he been living over these last months? “Please do explain which event in the past makes you so certain. The one where he carved her up? Oh, maybe when he jabbed through her maidenhead in front of us? Or how about when he betrayedall of us?”

“He didn’t know who she was.”

“Oh, he knew.” Somewhere deep inside him, he’d known. There had been plenty of indicators in this behavior which I hadn’t been able to puzzle together then, but they all made sense now. “You weren’t there the day I brought her into that copse of trees looking for you. Didn’t see how hyper-fixated he was on her. If I would’ve cut him, he wouldn’t have bled, he was so frozen in that moment.”

“I have known Malyr since he was a fledgling. He is… troubled, yes, but not bad by nature,” he mumbled, as if even his voice wasn’t convinced of what he was saying, and then more quietly, “He will do better from here on out.”

Maybe he would, but I wouldn’t bet my life on it, and certainly not Galantia’s. “Your trust is astonishing, considering he went behind your back just the same. Mine isn’t. Which is why I’m flying to Tidestone with him, whether he likes it or not.”

“Ten years ago, I found you changing the wet rags on Malyr’s forehead to break the fever. Five years after that, I found Malyr changing the seawater wraps on your burned arm. I am terrified of asking why you two are now fighting over a little white bird like two sparrows over a worm.” Asker exhaled a long breath, folded his arms in front of his chest, and leaned with his back against one of the bookshelves. “Please tell me you did not bed Lady Galantia.”

The longer he stared at me in silence, waiting for an answer he wouldn’t get, the more he narrowed his eyes at me, until I just shrugged. “What? You told me to take care of her, remember?”

“Not like that, Sebian.” He sighed, letting his face fall into his palm. “You bedded his fated mate, and he caught you, didn’t he?”

“Caught me?” Scoffing, I ran my fingers through theanoa’sfeathers, searching for broken shafts that needed preening. “Old man, he wasthere with us.”

Now he groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if sharing among unbonded Ravens was a rarity or something. “What have you done, Sebian?”

“What I’ve done?” Anger and annoyance mixed in my veins over how impossible it was to get into this man’s good graces ever again. Not that I cared, because, why would I? “Well, where to start? I pulled a Raven off her before he could rape her. I wiped the blood from the wounds Malyr cut into her before I put salve on it. I got her away from Lorn. I watched over her at the market. After Malyr took her virginity with his fingers, I prepared her satchels of heated chestnuts for the cramps.”

I listed a few more things after that, my lungs expanding wider with each one. Five years of thinking I was just a good-for-nothing waste of a man, unworthy of having a partner lifted off my chest because, wouldn’t you know it, I hadn’t done half bad with Galantia. Ihadcared for her. Ihadprotected her.

Until that one day I went north…

“Goddess help us all, I should have known,” Asker mumbled into his palm. “Should have known that something was amiss. Your… your drinking, the whoring, the irresp—”

My hiss cut through his rambling on about my shortcomings because… of course, he would keep dumping their weight straight back onto me. “I haven’t been drunk in weeks.”

Hadn’t touched gray devil bark.

Hadn’t touched another woman.

Didn’t want to, either.

“Exactly.” He lifted his head, giving me a look I hadn’t seen in years. Not exactly soft, but… well, less sharp? “Oh, I noticed, Sebian. How you gained your weight back. How you turned down the wine at thekjaer. How you seemed… happy.”

My mouth turned dry. That wasn’t what I’d expected him to say next at all. Not that it should matter to me. Who was he to judge me one way or another?

Still, something swelled at the back of my throat, robbing my voice of strength when I said, “I was happy.”

For the first time in years.

And I could have been happier still, if only I’d allowed myself to fully embrace my feelings for Galantia instead of my guilt over it. My guilt over having affection for a woman who wasn’t my fated mate. But leaving behind the past wasn’t the same as forgetting, or betraying, or abandoning. Something I hadn’t understood when I’d gone north, leaving her behind unkissed.

“Both Marla and I want you happy, but…” Another sigh, then Asker lifted his gaze, watching me groom the little white raven. “Sebian, she is Malyr’s fated mate. A bond is a precious thing under any circumstance, but in their case, it is crucial for this war, the kingdom we ought to gain, and the prince who is to rule it.”

My jaws shifted because I recognized the truth of it. “It’s interesting how you seem content pushing Galantia into the arms of a mate who couldn’t keep her from harm, because he’s the one who loves inflicting it. I never mistreated Ravenna; her death was nothing I could’ve prevented. Yet, for years, all you told me was what a fool I was. So irresponsible. A drunk. Useless. How you should never have allowed me to court your daughter. And I believed it.”

Every. Single. Word.

Well, I was done with that.

“It is true, I said things I ought not to have said.” He scrubbed his hand over his face, then lowered it by his side and looked right at me. “A father’s grief runs deep. Deeper than you could ever fathom.”

“Deeper than I could fathom, huh?” I held his gaze for a moment, silent understanding passing between us, then rose and carefully lowered the little raven back into her box of silk so she may sleep a while longer. The flight to Tidestone would exhaust her, no doubt. “I promised myself I’ll take care of Galantia, in whichever capacity she’ll let me, and I’m not going to fail a second time.”

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