Page 131 of My Mafia King

Or if I should say what I’d really want to say.

“Thank you so much for my new phone… And everything else,” I murmur, not tearing my eyes away from his.

“You’re welcome,” he says quietly, his eyes slipping to my lips.

Mine drop to his lips as well.

And I do that without thinking, refusing to admit this might pull us onto a path we might not be able to come back from.

Falling into a trance, I loop my arm around his neck and lean closer to him.

He tilts his head down while I kiss his cheek, and then I bring my lips next to his ear.

“Thank you again,” I murmur. “For saving my life.”

I wish I could stay there a little longer, with my chest pressed against his torso and my heart filled with hope that he might react to me. And he does, snaking his arms around my waist, holding me against his frame, tilting his lips to my ear, and saying quiet words.

“We can’t do this, baby… You will hate me if we do this.”

I swiftly retreat and meet his muscular arms that don’t want to let go of me.

He wants to make sure I understand what he’s saying to me.

I don’t know what‘this’means.

It’s not clear to me.

Or maybe I don’t want to think that it’s not possible. But he’s right. The wisest part of me agrees with him.

Yet it’s hard to pull back, and he doesn’t make it easier by holding me in his arms and making me hot in all the wrong places.

I wish I could vanish right now yet still take him with me.

“Do you understand?” he asks, and I nod several times, more than I’d normally do to convince someone of something I personally have a hard time believing.

“I do. Yes, I do. It’s a bad idea. I’m sorry…” I say, and he finally lets go of me, and there is space between us again and a kernel of normality.

I feel like my cheeks have been engulfed in a blaze of fire when he looks down, taking me in one last time and lodging that memory of me in his brain.

It’s bittersweet, but it’s the right thing to do, and we both know it.

Without another word, he spins away, and I look at his shoulders and the back of his hair as he vanishes out of sight while I’m still pondering what he just said to me.

24

CARMINA

I puta lot of effort into making sure I look fantastic tonight.

Maybe it’s because I’m still wrestling with frustration.

Maybe it’s because I’m still horny.

And maybe it’s because I want to regain my dignity.

It’s not like I really made a move on him––frankly, I wouldn’t know how to pursue men––but his comment was more than telling.

It stung a little. I must say.

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