Page 51 of The Grumpy Dad

Just as I was about to revel in the peacefulness of the moment, I felt a gentle poke on my arm. Startled, I turned my head to find Lily standing beside the bed, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Panic surged within me, my mind racing to comprehend the situation and anticipate what Lily might say.

“Morning, Lily,” I greeted her, attempting to mask the surprise in my voice. “Is everything all right?”

“Lily?” Ramsey asked, half-asleep.

He turned his head and I saw the exact expression I felt. “Lily!” he said.

Lily’s playful smile widened. “I just wanted to see if you were awake,” she replied innocently.

A mixture of relief and apprehension washed over me. Lily hadn’t said anything yet, but her curious eyes seemed to hold a thousand unspoken questions. I wondered if she had already pieced together the nature of our relationship.

“Lily, can you go push the button on the coffeemaker?” Ramsey asked.

“Okay!”

Lily rushed out of the room. The second she was gone, we both hopped out of bed. Ramsey pulled on his underwear and grabbed a pair of shorts. “I’ll go get her breakfast,” he said and gave me a quick kiss.

I grabbed my clothes from the floor and ran bare-ass naked to the guestroom. That was unexpected. I felt a little guilty for getting busted in his bed. We never talked about what this little thing we had going would mean to Lily.

I was brushing my teeth when Lily came into the room. She was grinning and clearly very happy with what she saw. “Good morning,” I said again.

“Hi.”

“I was thinking maybe we can have a little spa day,” I told her. “We can do mani-pedis while your dad gets some work done.”

“Okay.” She shrugged.

“Do you have your kit?” I asked her, referring to the little manicure set she got for her recent birthday.

“Yes!”

She ran to get it and then came right back. I got her situated in the chair and started to gently file her nails. It was a good way to start the conversation. I took a deep breath, reminding myself to be honest and open, yet mindful of her young age.

“Are you and my dad boyfriend and girlfriend?” Lily blurted out the question.

“I don’t know,” I said. “We’re just kind of getting to know each other.”

Lily frowned. “I thought you were. You kiss each other.”

Guilty as charged. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean we’re together like a boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Don’t you want to be a part of our family?” she asked, her voice filled with innocence and wonder.

My heart skipped a beat at her question. I knew this was a delicate moment, and it was essential to handle it with care. “Lily, I’m here to be your friend, someone you can trust and rely on.”

“If you’re not with my dad, does that mean you’re going to go away?” she asked quietly.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But if you don’t like each other anymore, you’re going to go away,” she said. “I thought you liked us.”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I wrapped Lily in a warm embrace. In that moment, I realized the immense responsibility and privilege of being a part of her life. I was not equipped to deal with such serious issues. Lily was a fragile kid. I didn’t want to break her.

“I do like you,” I assured her. “I love you and maybe one day I could love your dad, but right now we’re just friends. I like being your nanny, I don’t want that to change.”

“You’re going to leave,” she said and pulled her hand away from mine. “I know it. Everyone does.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was navigating a minefield with no map. No matter what I said or did, I was at risk of blowing up her little world. A professional nanny would know what to do. A professional never would have slept with the boss in the first place.

---