Page 63 of Surviving Lies

And this was so unlike me; allowing men to literally change my persona was pissing me off. Why was I letting this happen?

I continually stared at my phone, willing it to light up with a message or a call from either of them.

How was I involved with two guys at the same time, yet pushing them both away? I decided it was an art. Only someone like me could be capable of something like that.

And that got me crying again.

And that was the cycle for a couple days. I finally made it to Wednesday, hump day. And it was October already. Six weeks of this madness and I was in no better a position with either of them. Actually worse.

I only had one afternoon class on Wednesdays, which allowed me to sleep in. While I was making coffee, I spun around, unaware I wasn’t alone in the room.

“Oh my God, Lanie, I had no idea you were here!” I cried out in surprise with my hand over my heart.

“Sorry, I just got home. I was at Xander’s last night.”

Instead of joining me in the kitchen, she went directly to the couch in the living room, almost as if she were avoiding me. I watched her as she sat, her eyes avoiding me the entire time. I didn’t know if I was making it up because of my state of mind, but this was not like her.

“Do you want a tea?” I asked as I reached into the cabinet to get her a mug. I wanted some “Lanie time” before I had to go to class. It had been a few days since we’d seen more than a glimpse of each other running in or out of the apartment. And I blamed myself for that. I wanted nothing to do with anyone lately.

“Sure,” she responded, but she still hadn’t looked my way.

At that moment, Ava and Macie came racing into the kitchen with their bags over their shoulders, obviously in a hurry.

“Shit! We are so late for a study session. Are there granola bars anywhere we can steal?” Macie asked.

I went to the pantry and grabbed a few. She stuffed them in her pocket as Ava grabbed their full water flasks.

“Thanks, Bec. We owe ya. I’ll replace them when I go shopping next.”

“Bye!” Ava yelled as she waved.

They both ran down the hall and out the front door, slamming it behind them.

“We lucked out with them as our roommates this year, ya know? We have two great new friends,” I said to Lanie. I watched her nod, but she was still acting strange. I put her tea on the island, waiting to see if she would join me in the kitchen. Eventually, she stood from the couch and traipsed to the stool in front of her mug, plopping down. I leaned against the granite, my chin in my hand, keeping my mouth shut to see if she needed to talk about something more than I did.

She was acting a bit like she did last year. When things were terrible in her world and she just wanted to curl up and disappear.

Yeah, exactly what I’d been doing.

“They are good roommates,” Lanie finally offered. When she finally looked up at me, I could tell something was off.

Keeping my eyes on her, I moved on with the conversation.

“I have a meeting later today with the business frat. Remember I told you about this? I think I might get the nod to be the president after all.” My good news didn’t quite get the reaction I was expecting.

“That’s great, Bec.” Her distant, monotone response was very unlike her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Are you and Xander OK? Is it Max? Did something happen with him?”

That was always what the problem was last year.

Max. Her ex. The mafia son.

But he was supposedly in jail for everything he and his father had done. I only hoped nothing had changed.

“No, nothing like that, Bec. Nothing with Max or Xander. All good,” she said. But then she sat there, silent for a few minutes as she sipped on her tea.

I drank my coffee, waiting for her to direct the conversation. Even though I had plenty I could have talked to her about, it was obvious there was something on her mind. Lanie was the type of person who needed time and space to talk. I’d learned that about her from our year together last year. And just like I thought, she started talking.

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