Page 53 of Surviving Lies

“Listen, I know basically what’s going on in your life already, Becca. Ty wants you back, you’ve taken up with the hottie, Gage, who looks like a broody, bearded Henry Cavill, and now you don’t know what to do. Am I right?”

Well, fuck. How the hell did she do that?

“Do you do crystal ball readings on the side or some shit like that, Ava?” I asked as I buried myself deeper into the couch because I was hesitant to divulge my current dilemma. But I thought Lanie might not make it home before Gage was due to pick me up. And I needed someone’s perspective on this. “It’s a little more than that, but you mostly got it.” I snuck a peek at her from my side of the couch and caught her staring right at me.

Waiting. Patiently.

“I’m not gonna force ya, Becca. I’m here if ya want to bounce it off me.” She stood up and headed toward the stairs.

“Ava?” I called out.

She came running back, threw herself onto the arm of the couch, and sat with her knees pulled up under her chin. “I knew you’d change your mind. No one can resist talking to me.” Her cute smile matched her equally cute face and hair. Her short black hair worked so well with her vibrant green eyes; it was mesmerizing. Maybe that was why people couldn’t resist talking to her? Maybe she cast a spell or something on people. I loved her cut-up jeans, which she always paired with a flannel of some sort, and her Doc Martens. Very emo in a chic, sexy way. She was hot.

“Well, you’re right about Ty wanting me back. He does. And, yeah, I’m kind of hanging out with Gage. We have an unconventional thing going on.” I didn’t know how to explain what we had.

“He’s your long-term booty call, a boyfriend without the drama. It’s perfect; I wish more guys were into that,” she said matter-of-factly but with a tinge of jealousy. “So, what’s the new development?” She slid off the arm of the couch onto the cushion and pulled my blanket over her as well, both of us getting cozy underneath it. I appreciated she was nonchalant at the same time she was trying to make me feel comfortable.

“Well, Ty actually gave me a little of what I needed, some part of his truth he’d been keeping from me. It was the reason I broke it off. I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me.” She didn’t react, only kept listening. “I still don’t think I have the whole truth, but he’s trying. But the thing is,” I said, but needed to sit up, feeling the story getting more complicated. And Ava leaned in, feeling the intensity change. “Once he told me, I wasn’t feeling the pull to go back to him the way I was expecting. Not at first, anyway. But then yesterday, he put this whole great day together. And he made me remember what we had. He was sweet, and cute, and sexy, and ...” I stopped talking, not sure if I wanted to divulge the details of my sex life. But what the hell? “And then we had sex. Like, our first time in months. And it was fucking hot!”

“Ooh, tell me more!” Ava said, liking the dirty details.

“Well, that’s where it gets really fucked up, where I don’t understand myself.” It embarrassed me to tell her what I did. “Last night, after I got home from spending the day with Ty, I, um ...”

“You reached out to Gage,” she offered.

I stared at her. Lanie was in jeopardy of losing her status as my therapist. All I could do was nod.

“Well, I get it. Hottie Gage came into the picture and has you all upside down. I mean, it’s understandable. The guy is sex on a fucking stick. But here’s the thing,” she said as she sat up, getting to the point of her words. “He’s not making any commitments or promises to you, am I right?”

I shook my head.

“Well, then you have a decision to make. Which I’m pretty sure is what you already know, but maybe you need to talk it out. Are you willing to let go of what you and Ty had, and might have again, for some hot guy offering sex and only sex?” she asked.

“Plus, Gage is only here for a year. He goes back to New York in May,” I offered softly.

“Well, that’s even more of a reason to decide, probably sooner than later. I know Gage is the shiny new toy to play with, and that’s exciting and all. And that’s fine, if that’s what you want. But when he’s gone, or if what you two have ends, will you regret not making it work with Ty?”

Ava was putting into words all the thoughts that had been swimming around in my head. But there were still more thoughts that she hadn’t even come close to touching.

“Gage and I haven’t had sex. Not yet. I mean, Gage and I have done stuff, but we haven’t had sex.”

Her look softened a bit. “Do you have feelings for both of them?” she asked.

Damn, she was good.

And my silence was loud between us.

Eventually, I found my voice. “I still love Ty, no doubt there. That doesn’t just disappear. And after yesterday…” My voice trailed off as the words I wanted to say seemed to get stuck in my throat. “My day with Ty yesterday seems to have confused me more instead of making things more clear. But Gage, I don’t know what I feel about him. Not yet.” I threw my head back against the couch in frustration. “Is it really fucked up to be stringing along two guys? Or worse, hooking up with two different guys?” The tears were close, and I didn’t want to cry in front of her. We didn’t know each other that well yet.

“Hey,” she said as she scrambled over to me on the couch, “you’re not stringing anyone along. From the sounds of it, communication is not your problem. Sounds like you’ve been upfront and honest with both from the start.” She pulled me against her side; I resisted at first, but she wouldn’t let me for long. She was strong for a tiny thing. “If they both know about each other, and I don’t mean the details, I think you’re fine, Becca, so don’t worry about that. Basically, it sounds like you need to nail down how you feel for Gage.” My head was on her shoulder as she continued counseling me on my life. “If there are feelings there, then you need to tell him. Maybe that changes things for him. Ya never know.”

She was one hundred percent correct. I thought the potential of something with Gage had been hanging over my head. Feelings for him had been creeping in over the past few days, and I wasn’t expecting that. I probably needed to let him know that. But I was pretty sure I knew the answer I would get from him, and maybe that was why I felt the way I was. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for the booty call thing, after all.

“What has made you so good at this, Ava? You seem to have all the right things to say. Why don’t you have some hot sexy guy by your side?” I asked her.

Her head fell back against the couch in frustration before she spoke. “I don’t need a steady guy. I have my share of hook ups, my share of sex. That’s all I need. I’m not interested in anything long term. That’s not for me. At. All.” Her words were final. Her message definite. But there was something hidden underneath she wasn’t ready to share, I could tell.

“Sounds like there’s a story there we need to unpack,” I said, hoping she would want to share more. But she clammed up and remained silent.

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