Page 46 of Surviving Lies

“Have you seen the otter yet, in the pond?” she asked, breaking the silence. She looked over at me as she leaned back on her elbows. She appeared to be done eating.

“No. Have you?”

It was rumored that there was an otter that lived in this pond; some even called it ‘Otter Pond’ for that reason. But I hadn’t been here enough to catch a glimpse of him.

“No, I’ve only been by the pond one other time, other than quickly walking by.”

And then the silence returned.

“How are your brothers doing? Everything good at home?” I asked her. Becca always struggled being at her house with the chaos of her family. We haven’t spoken about anything personal in quite a while, so I thought family stuff might break the ice.

“They’re good. The twins are getting big, although Jonah isn’t as tall as Sam and that’s pissing him off a ton.” She laughed to herself after saying that. She always complained, but when she spoke, you could tell how much love there truly was for them in her voice. They might drive her crazy, but she loved her brothers, all four of them. “And the other two, well, the teen years are tough with them, but they’re still decent kids. My parents are still ... working a lot, even though I’m here.” She paused. Then seemed like she wanted to change the subject, shrugging her shoulders as if nothing was going to change her parents.

“How are your classes going?” she asked, diverting.

“They’re fine,” I said. “Lanie told me you got an officer’s role in your business group – that’s awesome. Phi Beta something?” I couldn’t remember the other Greek letter.

“Phi Betta Lambda, and yes, I might actually become president of BRU’s chapter this year,” she said proudly.

“That’s amazing, Bec. Congratulations.”

“You should join it, Ty. All business majors should be in it,” she scolded, somewhat jokingly.

“Yeah, well, I was busy with my own frat shit,” I told her. But she was right. The group she was in was more likely to land her a job than my fraternity was.

Our conversation had hit a comfortable lull. We sat looking out over the pond again, the sun sparkling on the small ripples the breeze made on the water.

I wanted to talk aboutustoday. Maybe talk about some of our memories from last year to remind her of what we had that was good. But suddenly, I was nervous that doing that might put everything in jeopardy. My promise to her to take things slow was already broken by simply being here with her.

“Becca–”

“Ty–”

“You first,” I said to her.

She shyly looked away, out over the pond, looking as though she didn’t want to continue. But then she turned back toward me. “Yesterday was harder than I expected.”

Without making her say it, I knew she meant being at the tailgate with both me and Gage. And I wouldn’t disagree that it sucked. I wanted to fucking punch the guy in the face when he walked in between Becca and me after we came downstairs. But in his defense, he felt he was the one in Becca’s life and that I stepped in on them.

He just didn’t know yet that she was mine and always would be.

“I’m sorry if I had anything to do with that.” And I meant that. It took everything in me to leave her with that guy and walk away. Everything. But I knew if I didn’t, I would destroy any chance I had with her. But I didn’t know if there was something I could have done to make it easier on her. Or maybe not done, like not kiss her. But I wasn’t sorry about kissing her; I would never be sorry about kissing her.

“It’s not you, Ty, not you at all. It’s me. I’ve put myself in this situation.” Her contemplative look returned as she scanned the pond again, looking for what, I wasn’t sure.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, Becca. You need to stop taking any responsibility for the mess we’re in. It’s all on me. You asked me for something and I didn’t give it to you. It’s as simple as that.” Her eyes stayed glued to mine as I talked, like she was wondering if I would be divulging any further truths to her. “Am I happy that you’re hanging out with someone else? That’s a big hell no. But I don’t blame you, not one bit. I’ve put us in this spot. Me, only me.” She turned to look out over the pond, deep in thought but oddly quiet. “My job now is to work as hard as I can to win you back. To show you that what we had is worth fighting for. Thatweare worth fighting for.” My hand was gripping hers by the time I was done talking, an effort to drive home the intensity of my words.

She remained quiet for a few minutes, very different from the normal Becca. And I hated that this was what she’d become lately. Her feistiness seemed to be waning, her fire going out.

Because of me.

“Why don’t we finish eating?” She nodded, and we set out to put our plates together and enjoy the food. We made some more small talk about classes and our roommates as we both enjoyed the meal.

“This was delicious, Ty. And really thoughtful of you. Thank you.” She smiled as she started putting the garbage away in the bag.

I didn’t want our time to come to an end. Thankfully, she sat back on her elbows and looked out to the pond, apparently not ready to leave yet either. Once I had the rest of the mess cleaned up, I cozied up a bit closer, leaning on an elbow.

“I appreciate you telling me about what you went through at home with your ex-girlfriend and your parents,” she said, turning to look at me. “That must have been hard, and I understand, I do. Paying for college myself would not be an option for me either, at least not without a lot of difficulty.”

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