Page 19 of Surviving Lies

I then climbed back into my bed and faced the wall. My defenses were up to avoid making this get any worse between us. I knew myself and didn’t want to overreact. Their conversation continued as whispered hushes while I tried to avoid it all in my little corner.

Then I heard Lanie close the door, but Ty remained.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, but I could hear him shuffling his feet closer to the bed. It eventually gave under his weight as he sat next to me. My eyes remained focused on a crack in the paint on the wall that my nose was almost touching.

“Bec,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. “I know I’ve fucked us up. I obviously did us more damage than I even realized.” He released a large breath that turned into a sigh before continuing. “I’m going to give you the break you obviously want from me.” His voice cracked as he spoke, trying hard to keep from crying. “I won’t be far. I’ll be here, for you, if you need me. But…” He paused. “In the distance.”

I felt the shift of his body behind me, though I wasn’t sure what he was doing. Then I felt him over me, his lips on the side of my head, the kiss on my temple.

“I love you, Becca.”

And then he was gone.

And I was free to cry in peace.

Chapter 7

Becca

It took me hours to fall asleep once Ty left. And the sleep I got was fitful. Waking up late made the day already a bad one, considering classes started the next day. I had a ton to do and not a lot of time to do it. I threw on shorts and a tank and found Lanie; she would know how to make the day better.

Thankfully, she was in the kitchen with a full pot of coffee in hand.

“You’re a lifesaver. Has anyone told you that lately?” I walked up behind her and wrapped her in a hug. “And I don’t just mean for the coffee. I mean, yeah, the coffee is perfect, thank you.” I plucked the cup out of her hand, since I knew she meant it for me. “But taking Ty home last night was the best thing you’ve ever done for me.” After taking my first sip, I looked up at her again. “But you are the one who let him into my room, so maybe you owed me that anyway?”

Lanie walked to the cabinet and took out a mug, a guilty look consuming her face.

“OK, maybe I didn’t think that one through,” she said. “I’m sorry, but you weren’t in the car with those two last night. Xander and him were so drunk, and all the two of them could talk about was how Ty spent the entire night talking about you and fending off girls just because he wanted to come see you.” Lanie looked sheepishly my way, not sure if I truly was mad at her.

“It’s OK; I probably would have done the same thing if you and Xander were in this spot. They are so good at convincing us to do shit like that.”

The apologies out of the way, it was apparent Lanie had other topics she was waiting to talk about. She turned around and leaned against the counter, seeming to think about what to say as she stared at me.

“Just say it, Lanes. It can’t be worse than what I’m already thinking.”

She blew on her beverage before speaking. “Bec, I just don’t understand. It seems so out of character for Ty to be like that. But here’s the thing. Last year, we lived in the dorms, and you and I, we were never really in the same room with our boyfriends often, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen the two of you interact.” She came toward me and took the stool next to me at the island, her hand resting on mine. “I would have never guessed it was as bad as that with the two of you. I’m sorry, that’s all.” She squeezed my hand, and that was all it took. The tears I was holding back spilled down my cheeks.

I was sad. I think that was to be expected. It felt like I was mourning our relationship. I had no idea if we would ever get back to what we had, though what we had was a lie. My intention when coming back to school this year was to get us back together. Instead, we were worse off than ever.

“Yeah, he was always great to me when we were at school, you saw it. So, it really wasn’t this bad last year. But that he couldn’t tell his family about me, that I was a ‘secret’ that had to be hidden. That makes a person feel like shit, a worthless piece of shit, after a while. Especially when you point it out and he still does nothing about it.” I wiped my face dry, the tears already stopping. I thought I’d cried them all out the night before.

“That’s the part I don’t get. I mean, OK, his parents don’t want him in a relationship so that his grades don’t go down. But his grades were great his freshman year. Couldn’t he use that argument to prove to them it would be fine?” Lanie had a good point.

I nodded in agreement. “I mean, isn’t it normal to want to be the priority in your boyfriend’s life? How about he just stands up to his parents’ unreasonable demands?” I countered.

Shit. I knew I shouldn’t have said it. Lanie looked away, letting it slide. But she had a fucked-up year last year with her ex, which was brought on by her parents forcing her into a terrible situation. So she knew what it was like to deal with parents and their unreasonable demands.

“Lanie, I’m sorry. Me and my big mouth.”

“It’s OK, Bec, but maybe he feels, like I did, that hehasto do what he’s doing. I don’t know. I just wish he would tell you more. But I’m the queen of secrets, so I can’t talk. He’s giving you more space. That’s what you want now, right?”

Her look was conspiratorial. I knew she was referring to Gage. Coming back to school this year, my only intention was to win Ty back. That wasn’t going as planned.

“I don’t know if that’s what I want. When I’m with him, I feel like I want us to get back together, to try and work things out, until he starts with his ‘untruths.’ Then I can’t take it anymore.” I had calmed down but felt the tears threatening their return. “I just want to feel

important to him, though. Ya know? As important to him as I know you are to Xander.” She nodded, understanding that anyone would want that. I wiped my face with the back of my arm. “Well, anyway, I have a lot to do today. What about you?” I smiled her way, hoping she would take the hint that I wanted to be done talking about Ty.

“Yeah, a trip to the bookstore seems in order. Want to head there soon?”

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