Page 102 of Surviving Lies

She sat quietly for a moment.

“Savannah,” she whispered. “That’s a pretty name.”

My heart stopped at her words. And then I noticed the tears streaming down her face. I moved, wanting to hold her, needing to hold her. But she held her hand up to stop me.

“Not yet,” she said. “Keep talking. I need you to finish.”

“OK. Well, I’ve been going home almost every weekend this semester to help take care of her, and to work some hours at a job up north.” As I continued, Becca’s tears continued to stream down her face. But I knew if I stopped, I would lose her, in every sense of the word. “It’s been a lot, especially with classes, and pledging, and the delivery job I’m trying to do here, too. But, I mean, it’s called sacrifice.”

Becca continued to just look at me as I spoke. My hands itched and shook with the need to comfort her. I knew if I pulled her into my arms, I’d be better, we’d be better. But I continued on.

“Kelly had decided to take a gap year even before she knew she was pregnant, so she was home already and went to work. And our parents help by watching Savannah during the week while I’m at school and Kelly’s at work. But now she’s old enough to go to the daycare at Kelly’s work, so that helps everyone out. My parents told me they will take two of my weekends, allowing me to stay here at school more often.”

Becca nodded while she continued to cry, as if she understood. I took that as a good sign, like she was getting what I’d been going through. But then she stood up and darted for the door. I grabbed her by the arm and spun her around.

“Where are you going?” I yelled.

“I can’t do this anymore!” she cried out as she attempted to push me off of her. “This won’t work, Ty.” She yanked her arm out of my grasp and made it all the way down the stairs.

Following her down to the front door, I held it closed, not wanting her to leave.

“Please, don’t go. We’ve only scratched the surface of what we need to talk about, Bec. There’s so much more. This was only the start. I need to remind you about us, and how I feel about you never changed during any of this.”

But she shook her head, resolute. “You don’t need to say any more. I know exactly how you feel about me, Ty. That’s never been the question, never been the problem.”

I didn’t understand. She was talking in riddles.

“I’ve now realized the–” she said through broken cries, as her breathing became ragged. “You’re not the problem. I. Am.”

She tried to push me out of the way to get to the door, but I wouldn’t let her. There was no way that after a comment like that, I was letting her walk out of here. I got a hold of one of her wrists and pulled her against me, my arms wrapping around her middle. She continued to fight, so I pushed her up against the back of the door. Our bodies now flush against one another’s, our heartbeats fighting to make a rhythm together.

“What are you taking about, Bec?” I whispered in her ear, trying to keep the moment calm.

“Ty, let me go, please. I have to go. I have to get out of here.”

At that exact moment, there was movement on the other side of the door. Both Becca and I retreated immediately, just in time before it flew open and Ben came rushing in.

“Oh, hey guys,” he said. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Becca said. “I was just leaving.”

And she slid out the door and was gone.

Chapter 30

Becca

Driving home when you’re crying isn’t the smartest thing to do, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I had to get out of there. And I thought about not going home, but where would I go? A month ago, Gage would have been an option, but that was out the door. I could have gone to see Lanie, but I didn’t feel like seeing Xander and his roommates in my wrecked emotional state. And I didn’t think anyone was home at our place, so at least I’d be alone.

I was even struggling to get the key in the door, my hands shook so badly. Running up the stairs to my room, I slammed my door and flopped on the bed. The tears just wouldn’t stop. Why was I such a bitch all the time?

Fuck!

I started storming around my room, throwing the clothes that were on my floor all over the place, looking for my journal. It was a journal I’d kept last year about all the things Ty and I did together and some of the sweet things he said to me. But I couldn’t find it anywhere. Why was I such a fucking slob?

Fuck!

“Becca?” I heard a voice outside my door. “Are you OK?”

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