Page 66 of Surviving Lies

If I’d done the same thing to him as he’d done to me, why in the hell was it hurting so much?

I couldn’t think about this anymore. I sank into the hard wooden seat in the cavernous lecture hall my class was in. Pulling my hood over my head, I hoped the monotone voice of my professor droning on about statistics would help drown out the noise in my brain. But as class progressed, I realized I wasn’t focusing on the material at all. Before long, it ended, and I had less than half a page of notes written. I would need to get the notes I missed from someone.

Not really feeling the desire to head back to the apartment yet, I took my time packing my things. Our place would be empty. I hadn’t realized everyone was leaving for the three-day weekend. I mean, I could go home, but being surrounded by all my younger brothers wasn’t high on my list of things to do at the moment.

The sun was bright when I made it out of the building, blinding me the moment I opened the door. Finding a ledge nearby, I balanced my bag in search of my sunglasses, needing to dig deep to the bottom.

I was completely distracted.

“Hey, Bec,” the familiar voice said behind me. I froze with my hand still buried in my bag. I knew I had to turn and see him, talk to him. But I had no idea what I wanted to say. Even three days later. I gathered my strength, knowing once I turned around, my resolve might crumble.

Twisting my body slowly to face him, I caught his handsome face smiling down upon me. Not prepared for the onslaught of butterflies that took flight in my stomach, my voice wavered when I spoke. “Hi, Ty,” I said. “How are you?”

Searching his face, I knew he had no idea how nervous I was. Instead, his somber, bloodshot eyes told a story of how his past few days had been spent.

He was devastated.

More than devastated.

Destroyed.

And I did that to him.

But he put on a brave mask quickly. “I’m good. You?”

I had no good reason for not texting or calling him; at least, not one I was willing to tell him. And as each day passed, it became more uncomfortable to reach out to him. But it was shitty of me to only have sent a text after he sent me flowers. And after we spent that day together. A day that might have been better than any day we had together up to this point.

We talked, we connected, we laughed, we had sex.

We had fantastic sex. Like, it was as if it was make-up sex and we really weren’t even making up. Or were we? I didn’t even know. If I had reached out to him, maybe I would know.

So it appeared it was now me screwing things up.

Because when he said he was “good,” it was obvious to both of us he was full of crap.

His smile wavered as he looked around, avoiding looking at me.

And Christ, that hurt.

“Ty–”

“Bec–”

We both laughed nervously.

“Let me go first, Ty,” I insisted. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never called you. It was shitty of me. I only wish I had a good reason for not calling, but I don’t. It was just a terrible week so far.”

Ty’s face morphed from hurt to fury as I spoke. And that was when I remembered he was with Xander and saw Gage, too. He thought that was the reason for my week being shitty. Little did he know, that was only part of it. He would never know what happened between Gage and me the other night. Ever.

But the fact that my ex was standing in front of me, aware that I was in a bad mood because another man had betrayed me, well, that was weird.

No, it was so fucked up.

“You deserved a call after the wonderful day we had Sunday, you did. But I didn’t want to make it seem like us spending one day together made all the other issues just disappear.” When I said this, I noticed the hard swallow in his throat. He looked nervous suddenly, as if he didn’t want the conversation to continue, afraid to see how it would end. “I wish it could, but it doesn’t.”

His look had softened, and a warm smile formed as he hiked his backpack higher on his shoulder. “Bec, I know one day isn’t enough to fix us. I only hoped that might be the start to getting the chance to fix us.” He sighed before he continued. “I have to get to class. I wish I didn’t have to leave you right now, but this professor is being a dick about taking attendance lately.” He started backing away.

“It’s OK, Ty. It was good to see you.”

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