Page 28 of Ruthless Roses

He goes slow, groaning at the tight fit.

Salvatore’s always been well-endowed, always a lot to take. But it really is like the first time—as he slides in slowly, I wince at the dull ache. The pain doesn’t subside as quickly as I hope. Closing my eyes, I breathe through my nose and urge my body to relax.

The same body I’ve felt so disconnected with. The same body that just denied me an orgasm.

Salvatore drops his head to the crook of my neck with a husky groan. He’s restraining himself, holding back ’til I’m ready. My hands explore the rippling hard muscle of his body, feeling the flex and tautness of it, knowing he’s being tortured.

I bite my lip and then rock against him. Maybe it’ll get better the more he moves. The more we lose ourselves in our lovemaking.

He takes my cue, kissing me and drawing back his hips. His thrust is still contained and slow, exploring along with me. We’re cradled close like this as we make love and attempt to surrender to pleasure.

The ache goes nowhere. Worry grows inside me despite my best efforts to concentrate on the moment. Then my thoughts spiral into worries I’ll never orgasm again. I’ll never enjoy sex like I used to. But does it matter? It’s almost time to feed Dominic again and that’s more important…

Any spark I’m feeling fades, tapering off on a weak note.

My body aches and tenses up, refusing to relax. I cling to the passion that had consumed me only moments ago, though it no longer seems real. It’s an act. It’s pretend.

Salvatore knows. He tries keeping me engaged with loving kisses and the reverent touches that once set my skin on fire.

But nothing works.

The session ends with him climaxing, my pussy sore, and me relieved it’s over. Yet my mind screams with a hundred different troubling thoughts.

“Phi? You okay?” Salvatore kisses my brow and caresses my face.

“Hmm? Oh. Yes…”

“You didn’t come,” he says knowingly. “Tell me what’ll make it better.”

“I’m… I’m not sure. It’s me… my body’s just not… cooperating.”

“It was our first time in a while, since before the baby. We’ll figure it out. You put too much pressure on yourself.”

“Maybe. I’m, um, going to get cleaned up and check on Dom.”

“Phi—”

I kiss him before pulling away and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “You’re right. It’ll be better next time.”

But as I disappear into the bathroom, feeling every bit as disconnected as I have been lately, I’m not so sure.

What if something’s wrong with me?

8

salvatore

Over the courseof the next week, things don’t improve in our bedroom. We try to have sex a few more times to no success. I finished both times… but not in the way I like—withDelphine at the end of a passionate session of fucking, where we’re both satisfied. Instead, I’m left ejaculating into a tissue after we’ve quit trying.

Delphine finds it too uncomfortable. I find myself, for the first time, lost how to please her.

Our chemistry has always been like dynamite bound to explode at any moment. We’ve never lacked in that department. Once you put us together, there’s always been an instant passion that burns.

Even when she was heavily pregnant, we couldn’t get enough of each other.

Yet now it couldn’t be more different.

It seems the more we fail, the less Delphine is able to enjoy herself. The less she’s even interested in trying again.

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