Page 90 of Switched At Birth

“Can you imagine how scared Lainey is?” I ask.

“Or Devin not knowing where his sister and brother are,” he returns.

“And Collin?” We can never forget about Collin.

The rest of the car ride is quiet, as my thoughts, along with my husband’s, remain on the kids.

* * *

It’s past nine pm,and we’ve not heard from Mrs. Roeger since this afternoon. It’s eating me up inside. We’re jumpy, and every time the phone rings, we ready ourselves for bad news. We’ve been a little short-tempered with each other. This is actual hell.

“Hey, let me ask you something?” Noah asks, climbing in next to me. We have our new bedroom, but have remained in the open space until we have children in the house.

“Go for it,” I answer.

“We’ve not talked about the next steps, with the kids. I think we had been waiting to see if they’d be placed with us, or another set of siblings, before we chose to tackle this subject.” He kisses my nose.

“Okay, now I’m equal parts intrigued and nervous.”

His smile calms my spirits. “Ah, don’t be, honey. What do you think about moving? Kids need space to run and play. This isn’t really cohesive for children. I think we’ll be fine here until we know for sure how this may play out, but I’d like a picket fence, a dog, and a yard to plant flowers in. Maybe even do that cheesy thing all parents do, and have the kid’s handprints in the cement.”

This is a conversation we needed to have, and it’s the next logical step, but it hurts my heart thinking of leaving this place. “But you love this loft.”

“I do, and I’ll miss it. I won’t lie. But I love this life we’re building even more. I’ve set aside money for a house once I had a family. And I know you. You’re going to get all up in arms saying you’re not freeloading off of me. But, we’re married, what’s mine is yours. So don’t let that hinder you, or us from getting what we want.”

He knows me so well.

“Fuck, Noah. I love you. And yes, I’d love to look for a place together we can call home and raise our kids in.”

The phone rings before I can kiss my husband, and I pounce on it. “Hello.”

“Ashton, this is Denise Roeger. I’m calling to let you know you have three children who can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Get ready for an instant family. We’ll be over around noon, if everything goes as planned.”

“And that’s it. Nothing else?” I ask.

“Get a good night’s sleep, because after tonight you may never sleep again.” She hangs up the phone.

“Well?” he asks.

“Get ready to never sleep again. The kids will be here tomorrow.”

“We got the kids?”

I don’t think we’ll recover if we have them for six months, just to give them back to a mother who neglects them. But I keep that thought out of my mind.

“Yes, we got the kids.”

* * *

I can’t sleep.Noah’s own slumber doesn’t seem peaceful either, but when he snores, I know he’s at least getting some sort of rest.

I extricate myself carefully from the bed, grabbing my laptop, taking it to what will be our bedroom.

All three bedrooms aren’t much bigger than ten by ten. Ours is a touch bigger, just so we could have a king-sized bed in it. But, it follows the protocols for separate bedrooms.

Sitting up against the wall, on our sheet-less mattress, I google homes in North Seattle. I’m uncertain where to even begin, but when in doubt, Google it, right? What the hell did our parent’s generation do? I can imagine it now. Stuck to the vicinity of the wall, with a corded phone as they used the yellow pages to call a realtor not knowing their credentials, only to have to leave a message and hope someone calls you back. I like this way much better.

The computer directs me to Zillow, and a plethora of houses appear. Fuck, I can’t even begin to know what our budget is. Noah mentioned last night roughly what he could sell the loft for. When he bought it, it was a blank canvas and he sank a lot of money into it, but he’ll get a return on it three-fold. He mentioned he has money set aside for his forever home, but with my sales increasing, I too have money I can contribute to the mortgage payment. I may not have what Noah does, but together, I think we can get something really nice.

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