Page 37 of One Hot Deal

"Okay.Does that mean you'll tell me why you seem so sad right now?"He moves his hand as if to hold mine but pulls it away."You had a good time at breakfast.Didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"What changed?"

I don't normally discuss private matters, especially the sort that's bothering me now.I feel completely deflated, but I can't tell Derek why.Not directly.Since I know he won't give up until I give him a crumb of a reason, I'll need to be vague about it."I'm feeling off right now, that's all."

"Off?Are you sick?"

"No."I wring my hands, which I have never done in my life, and I can't look at him."It's a womanly issue.A man wouldn't understand."

"I grew up with a younger sister.You'd be surprised what I understand about 'womanly' things."

Why must he be so obstinate?Any other man would have given up after I mentioned my "womanly issue."For heaven's sake, I don't want to discuss this with Derek Hahn.But he's being so sweet and understanding that I can't simply tell him to bugger off.

I squeeze my eyes shut and say, "I'm having my period."

Silence.Leaves rustle high up in the trees, but I hear no other sound, certainly nothing from Derek.

Until he laughs softly."Did you think that would horrify me?Told you, I have a sister.Couldn't help overhearing our mom telling Avery how to use those pads."

I peel my lids apart."You don't understand.This means I'm not pregnant."

"Diana, I'm not stupid.I know that's what it means.But why does that upset you so much?"

"Because it means we can't have sex for four days, and then I probably won't be fertile again for a week or two."I let my head fall back against the post behind me."I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Get what over with?"

"Our arrangement.I want to get it over with, so we won't need to shag ever again."

He falls silent, and I glance at him.Derek has his jaw firmly set, his hands fisted on his thighs, and his lips compressed.He seems to have a hard glint in his eyes too.

"What's wrong?"I ask.

He stares at me for a moment, his entire body strung as taut as a high-tension wire."What's wrong?Are you kidding me?You just announced that you want to get it over with so you can send me away to America and never see me again."

I have no idea how to respond to that statement, and I need a moment to digest what it means.He can't be implying… No, he doesn't want to have a relationship with me.Derek agreed to my terms and assured me he understood them.He has no right to have hurt feelings now.

"Of course I want to get it over with," I say."Casual sex makes me feel unclean afterward."

"So now screwing me is a sin.Didn't sound that way when we were fucking and you were screaming because you came so hard."

My spine snaps ramrod straight, and I seem to have lost control of my own vocal cords.Nothing else explains why I say, "This deal was a bloody stupid idea.I should never have suggested it.You were right, we should use the turkey baster method."

He glares at me for so long that my skin starts to itch from the intensity of his focus on me.Then he shuts his eyes, his shoulders wilt, and he releases the weariest sigh I've ever heard."If that's how you really feel…"

Derek rises and clomps down the steps to stalk off down the path to the garden.I sit here immobilized until I can no longer see him.Then I rest my elbows on my knees and cradle my head in my raised hands.Perhaps I should tell him the real reason I can't offer him anything more than what our deal allows.But sharing that with him would mean we are…involved in some fashion.

I cannot go down that road again.

After a few more minutes, I walk back to the house and check every room, but don't find a soul inside the house, at least on the first floor.Even the kitchen is empty.As I set a hand on the banister, ready to mount the stairs to the second floor, the front door swings open.

Kendall trots up to me, leaving the door ajar."Ms.Sangster, there you are.Lady Sommerleigh requests that you join us on the lawn for a game of cricket."

"I don't play sports."

"Lord Sommerleigh would also like for you to join them, even if you don't play."

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