Page 42 of One Hot Deal

"That's awful.But something must've happened to Roger too."

Diana nods and finally lifts her head to look at me."Six years ago, he was killed in an airline crash.In his will, he named me as Pippa's guardian.I've loved that girl since the day she was born and helped care for her while Roger tried to work things out with Amanda.Now Pippa is legally my daughter."

"Why didn't you want anybody to know about Pippa?I got the impression Avery and Hugh didn't even know."

"I prefer to keep my private life private."She sags against the summer house wall."Pippa wants to call me Mum, but I've resisted that."

"That kid loves you to pieces.Why wouldn't you let her call you Mom?"

She shrugs one shoulder."I suppose I don't feel worthy of it.I kept Pippa at home, and in public school as Roger had wanted, until three months ago.Then I sent her away.I've always worked too hard and not spent enough time with her.I don't deserve to be her mother."

"Pippa is a terrific kid.Smart too.And she adores you.Stop being so hard on yourself."I brush the backs of my fingers over her cheek."But yeah, you do work too much.You need to cut yourself some slack, Diana.We all do the best we can."

Our gazes connect, and for a moment, we just look into each other's eyes.Then she rests her head on my shoulder."Would you tell me about your longest relationship?"

"Sure.It lasted fourteen months.Eventually, I found out that Wendy had been cheating on me for the whole time.She said I just wasn't enough for her, since I was working too much and not paying enough attention to her needs."To have Diana's head on my shoulder feels right somehow, and any anxiety I might've had melts away."When we broke up, Wendy filed a palimony suit and tried to take me for every penny I had.But in my work as a bodyguard, I'd gotten to know a few private investigators.I hired one and got the proof that Wendy had cheated repeatedly.The suit was dismissed, but I was shell-shocked after that."

I swear I feel an actual weight lifting off me just from sharing my past with Diana.Something important just happened between us.But is it enough to change her mind about us?

Chapter Sixteen

Diana

"I can't believe any woman would throw you over that way," I tell Derek."She must have been a bloody moron.You are the most loyal, compassionate man I've ever met, and any woman with half a brain would snap you up in an instant."

He chuckles."That means you should snap me up, hey?You have a whole brain, after all, not just half of one.But don't worry.I'm not expecting you to throw yourself at me.I appreciate the compliment, though."

"It's well deserved."

Can't believe I told him about my past, but I'm not sorry I did.He shared his past too, which makes me feel things I can't quite describe.Not bad things.

"Do you still want to do the baby pact thing?"he asks."I'll understand if you'd rather go to one of those banks or a clinic."

Perhaps I should terminate our deal.But I don't want to do that.Is this still about having a baby?Or has it morphed into something altogether different?

"Our deal is still in force," I say."Unless you've changed your mind."

"I haven't."

As we sit here listening to the birds that sing high up in the trees, I suddenly realize how one-sided our agreement is.I haven't offered him anything of real value in return, only the chance to move back to America and work for a celebrity.If I'm completely honest with myself, I know I presented that opportunity to him because I'm afraid that I might develop feelings for him.Maybe I already have.But I still can't quite commit to anything more than sex.

"I haven't told you about my marriage," I say."You talked about your longest relationship, so I feel I should discuss mine with you."

"Only if you want to.I don't expect you to tell me everything about yourself."

"But I'd like to explain.It might help you understand why I am this way."

He raises his brows."What way are you?"

"Uptight and demanding."

"That's now how I would describe you."

I shouldn't ask, but I can't stop myself."How would you describe me?"

"Smart, strong, tough when it's necessary, determined, caring… Should I keep going?It would take an entire thesaurus to list all your amazing qualities."

I freeze, and even my eyelids won't move.

---