Page 24 of Planet Wolf

I could have argued with him—when it came to me, there might not be all the time in the world. He knew it, and what was more, I could honestly say he was completely aware of my issues. He’d seen them firsthand.

It was sweet, though, that he thought we had that kind of time. I wasn’t going to argue about it right then. I backed up a step. “I try to do things that scare me… like getting on a shuttle to a planet I should not be visiting to spy on evil corporations. And taking off my clothes in front of a man who says that I’m mated to him and his cousin and his friend.”

His mouth twitched, but he asked, “Why do you think you need to do things that scare you? As much as I’ve benefited from this strange statement—I would otherwise never have met you, after all—I’d also rather not think of you running around scared all the time.”

“Because I’ve spent most of my life looking through windows at other people living theirs. When I can do something a little scary, I try to do it.”

That included taking off my clothes. With shaking hands, I unzipped my dress from behind and let it pool to the floor by my feet. I stepped out of it. I was skinny, always had been. My curves were small, whether from my health issues or just naturally how I was meant to look, no one could tell me. I was happy with myself, for the most part. I didn’t have a lot of time to be physically critical of my outsides when I was so constantly concerned with the workings of my insides.

Besides, it didn’t matter right then, not with the way Carl watched me. He sank back down on the bed and leaned on his elbows. His gaze was heated, caressing. He said all he was going to do was watch me and kiss me. Goosebumps broke out on my body. Would it be possible to ask him for more? Or was that a very, very bad idea?

I couldn’t chicken out, not when I’d taken back control of our interaction. Oh sure, he’d been the one to move it this way, but I’d reasserted the idea that I could handle things. That was important for my self-confidence and because I didn’t want this Wolf shifter, this enforcer, this person who said I belonged to him, to think I couldn’t handle what he dished out.

I could.

I smiled at him slowly while I dropped my bra to the floor around my dress. “Am I living up to what you remembered?”

He visibly swallowed. “Esther, it is taking every ounce of willpower to resist tugging you over here and taking you again and again. You were then, and are now, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen onanyplanet.” He nodded toward me. “Keep going. I’ll fantasize about you totally naked for the rest of my life. All the days of my life, I will remember this moment.” His eyes flashed wolfish again. It should startle me, but it only reminded me of our trek across the mountains together. Carl was a caretaker, and he wasn’t going to hurt me. His gaze was nothing but warm when he looked at me, every time, without fail. Wolf or not. I slipped out of my panties.

Carl held out his hand, offering for me to take it. “You can leave the pajamas off, if you’d like to sleep naked.”

“Would you rather I slept naked?”

His smile was fast. “I’d rather you do everything naked. There isn’t anything I’d rather see than you naked doing anything all the time. Except that would mean other people besides my cousin and my best friend would see you, and for that, I’d have to kill them. So, for tonight, I’d like you to sleep naked pressed up against me after I’ve kissed you for hours.”

I swallowed. “This is not the day I thought I was going to have.”

His smile grew and he rose and, in his slow, controlled stride, closed the distance between us. My body buzzed like I was plugged into a socket conducting electricity through me, my every nerve ending sparking with sensation.

Carl touched my cheek, cupping it beneath his large hand. “I always find what I lose. I am the best tracker in the galaxy. Despite that, I have to admit, Mate, that when you vanished from our lives, I had a moment where I wondered if you were real or if I imagined you. But you are. So, very real. I love knowing there will come a day when you will be so used to my touch, you’ll start to get wet when I walk in a room, because you’ll know I’m going to touch you and stroke you until you come on my fingers. Every chance I get.”

I caught my breath. No one had ever spoken to me like that before. Never. And I wanted more. He drew me down on the bed, and I went willingly. My heart raced, but for once I didn’t mind. Carl rolled me over until he was on top of me; his weight was slight as he bore most of it on his elbows.

“I know this is too fast. I know this isn’t how I should be behaving tonight. But this is me. I couldn’t resist you in the woods, and I can’t now, either.” He kissed me. I closed my eyes and drowned in his kiss.

8

Carl kissed and kissed me, as promised. His lips were soft. For a person as hard as he was, his mouth tasted sweet and giving. I opened my eyes to find his were closed, his expression lost in passion. I didn’t know why seeing his face helped me to relax more, but it did. The fact that he was as lost as I was went a long way to give me permission to fall further down the spiral. Yeah… I was weird. I knew it, but he really seemed to like me anyway.

With a slight moan, he let go of my lips to kiss both my cheeks. I closed my eyes.This might be easier if I didn’t watch.

“Esther, open your eyes and look at me for one moment.”

I lifted my lids. “Was I doing something wrong?”

“No. You could never do anything wrong when it comes to kissing me, but I can smell that you’re nervous. There is no need for you to worry. This is just the two of us getting to know each other. Our courtship was done without understanding each other’s languages, yet we still learned so much about each other. You figured out who I was. I learned who you were, too.”

I hadn’t asked them what they thought of me. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to know. “What did you discover about me?”

“That you are strong, resilient. That you keep going when most people would fall apart. That you have a huge heart and watch what others are doing all the time. You’re observant. Funny. Smart. Now that we can talk, I can also see that you’re sensitive and kind. You have a temper that you don’t use very often, but aren’t afraid to pull out.”

I caught my breath. “I wouldn’t list those things as being who I am. I’d say… sick and trying.”

He frowned. “I am not dismissing your illness, not at all. But I want you to know that, when we scent you, your ailment, whatever it is, is not the first thing we smell. You smell of health to me.” He breathed deeply. “But I can smell your pain, and that you hurt and ache. I would take that from you, if I could, but obviously I can’t. To the point, know the way that I think of you is not first and foremost sick and trying.”

It would be so easy to love this man.My heart stuttered at the thought. Wow. That had come out of nowhere. Or maybe not. I was naked in bed with him. Obviously, my feelings for him were intense. Were they love? Well, I’d mourned his loss like a death I’d never get over, so they were something.

“When you were gone…” My voice caught as I tried to speak. The emotion of it was almost too much, clogging my throat. He didn’t rush me, just tilted his head as he regarded me. Just because he could smell my emotions, it didn’t mean he understood why I had them.

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