Page 67 of Sangria

I sit back, stunned by this revelation. I’m unable to make eye contact with her right now as the feeling sinks in that we’re done. Her career means the world to her, and I can’t compete with that.

“So, I guess that’s it, huh?”

“I. . .” she looks at me as tears start to fall.

epilogue

There’s a soft melody,a chorus of sounds that are drifting through the house. It’s mixed with music, laughter, and nature. I smile at the people gathered in my home right now, waiting for me to make an appearance.

The woman who stares back at me looks nothing like I’m used to. Gone are the purple ends that I’ve had for so long, along with the platinum locks that have followed since my career took off. Now my hair is blonde with low-lights of brown mixed in.

I never thought I’d be the one to make a change, but over the past year, my life has been a whirlwind of changes. Some good, while others have been heartbreaking and shattered my resolve more times than I want to count. But today is going to be different.

The door opens, and my mother steps in. She’s dressed in a lavender dress that rests on her knees. She smiles, but quickly covers her mouth as I twirl in front of her.

This time around my dress is different. As much as I love being the belle of the ball, I opted for a champagne-colored sheath dress that sits off my shoulders, to go with my purple and cream-colored roses.

“Levi is going to. . . well that man will fall more in love with you than he already is,” my mom says.

It's hard to imagine my life without Levi and the girls. The day I was given the ultimatum to choose him over the band, the decision was easy.

After spending time with them, and becoming a family, my life is here. This is where I am meant to be. I couldn't have signed my name any faster than I did that day. My only regrets were I didn't leave right away and fly back to Nashville, which worked out because my hero came to save me anyway, and for not talking to Darian about it.

Reverend Sister was our band, our creation. I hated leaving, but it was the right thing to do. There was no way I could effectively work with Hayden and Freddie, let alone Van after everything he had done to me.

But my brother was a different story. They purposely left him out of the ambush and pitted us against each other. It backfired. Darian left as well, taking with him all the rights to the songs we wrote. In hindsight, I should've called a lawyer and negotiated my way out of the band, but I was hurt.

Darian was not. He was pissed, and his retaliation forced the label to pay him off. Half of which he shared with me. Now, Reverend Sister as it’s known, belongs to Darian, not that he plans to do anything with the name.

As for me, I’ve recorded some duets with Levi, but I am enjoying the stay-at-home mom bit right now. My girls. . . they’re my world and come Monday morning, Levi and I will petition the court to allow me to adopt them. I had always seen myself as a mother, but not to a teen and pre-teenager and two dogs.

Darian walks into the room and shakes his head slowly. “I’m going to have to get Levi really drunk otherwise he’s going to be on you as soon as you say he’s allowed to kiss you. You know you have to keep it PG out there, right?”

“Darian, I don’t know where your mouth comes from, boy,” my mom says. Darian takes the scolding seriously and kisses our mother on her cheek.

“All right, Z. Are you ready for me to walk you down the aisle?”

“I am,” I say, making sure to grab my bouquet.

My mom leads us out, and as soon as my shoes touch the deck, the music shifts. I glance up at Darian and thank him.

“It’s my honor to walk you down the aisle, Zara. I think you and Levi are the real thing. You’ve shown me what love is supposed to be like.”

“Does that mean you’ll finally settle down?”

“If the right one comes along,” he says winking.

We walk hand in arm down the makeshift aisle toward the expanded portion of the deck that is covered by a pergola with white lights lighting up the dusk sky. I fell in love with the one he had at his house in California and mentioned that we needed one. My man built one the next week for us, attaching it to the pool room, so we have easy in and out access to there as well. It’s become our place. We eat dinner out here. Drink our morning coffee. The girls and I read. Levi and I write songs. Most importantly, it’s where our family gathers so we can just be us.

Our ceremony is small, just friends and family. I smile at Lori, Buck’s wife as I round the corner. We got off on the wrong foot, but once they realized that I was good for Levi, they came around. It wasn’t that quick for me, but in time I have grown to enjoy our friendship.

At the front of the altar, Levi stands there with his hands clasped in front of him, his smile beaming from ear to ear. When he asked me to marry him, it was on horseback during a sunset ride out to the pond. It was my idea to go out because I had to tell him something important that I didn’t want the girls to hear. We both blurted out our news at the same time. I told him that I was pregnant, while he asked me to be his wife.

Finding out I was pregnant was a shock. We were careful, but the days after my subsequent kidnapping and dissolution of my band, I was stressed and hadn’t been taking the pill, and the thought never occurred to me to suggest Levi use a condom to prevent pregnancy. When I revealed my big secret, he grinned so widely that I thought his cheeks were going to rip open. He asked me again to marry him, presenting me with a ring and I said yes.

Of course, the challenge of hiding my pregnancy from the world ensued. The media had already speculated that I was pregnant, even though they were wrong, and I didn’t want them to know. Once I started to show, I stayed home. Barbara arranged for a midwife and doula, and I gave birth at home.

Poppy Clementine was born one year to the day that Levi and I met. While I was pregnant, we couldn’t decide on a name for her and told the girls they could decide. Stormy got the first name, while Willow got the middle name. It wasn’t until Poppy was born that we knew she was a girl. As a family, we decided not to find out. We wanted to be surprised.

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