Page 46 of Sangria

“I know you have, and I’ll never dispute that, but when you hear things like that or come across something that upsets you, you can’t let it get to you. In every aspect of life, you need to have thick skin.”

“Easier said than done, Dad.”

“I know, and I’m sorry you had to find out about Zara and me like that. It wasn’t our intention.”

“I thought that by Willow and me moving home, it would just be us, and now she’s there.”

“I thought you liked her?”

“I do, but as Zara Phillips, lead singer of Reverend Sister but not my dad’s girlfriend or someone living in our house.”

I try to imagine myself in her shoes and can easily see where she’s coming from. I can’t exactly tell Zara to leave, not that I’d want to do that and I think deep down Stormy doesn’t want that either. But I have to be conscious of my girls’ feelings and make sure they’re my priority. Zara will understand that.

“I understand, Stormy. Zara won’t be in the way or always around if you don’t want her there. She’s there to hide, relax, and regroup.”

“And be your girlfriend?”

I shrug and find that I can’t keep the wide grin from spreading across my face. I like the idea of her being my girlfriend. It makes me feel like a teenager again.

zara

Twenty-Five

When Van and I split,I had trouble sleeping. I knew it was because I had spent so much time sleeping next to him that with him gone and the damage that he had done to me, sleep evaded me for weeks. The last two nights have been the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time. Admitting that, though, breaks my heart because it makes me realize that there were signs with Van that I was missing or too naïve to see. I thought what we had was a perfect marriage, and on the outside, we did. We were always affectionate to each other, especially when we were out in public. We rarely fought or argued, and now that I look back, I see that we rarely spoke about anything that wasn’t band related.

I honestly can’t remember the last time he asked me about my day or complimented me on what I was wearing. Every conversation revolved around music, the band, and an upcoming album release or tour. Side chats about dinner or what party we had to attend.

As I sit outside on Levi’s deck, I wonder how I missed the complete shutdown of my marriage. The signs were there, but love blinded me from seeing what was right in front of my face. Of course, thinking about it now makes me wonder how many times Van cheated before he got caught. I know of one other or at least suspect that he and Laura have been together, but how many more are there? I’m not sure that is the answer that I want to know. I don’t know if I could stomach knowing that Van was disrespecting me any longer than I already know.

Sifting through my phone, I find myself smiling at the picture of Levi and me, even though I hate that it’s out there. I was stupid to think that no one would have a cell phone handy, but I couldn’t resist kissing him. It’s hard for me to pinpoint my attraction to him Be it the trucker hat that he wears, his cowboy boots, the jeans that hug his ass perfectly, the smile he seems to have every time I’m near, or the fact that when I’m with him, I don’t feel like I’m competing for attention. I loved walking down the street with him yesterday, perusing the shops and acting like every other couple on the sidewalks. No one was bothering him or me, asking for autographs or pictures. Our names weren't being called out. We weren’t being questioned about what we were doing together. Yesterday was perfect, despite our private moment being caught and shared on every social media channel. If I had to do it all over again, I would because I loved every minute of being with Levi.

The headlines hurt though, calling him a rebound. I suppose from the outside that is what he looks like, but that isn’t how this feels. Everything feels real as if this is the first time I’m falling in love, which I know isn’t possible because I haven’t known him that long. I have never been one to believe in love at first sight. Lust, sure, and that is definitely there between us, but feeling the other L word just isn’t possible.

Missing him is, though, and he hasn’t been gone that long. Waking up to an empty bed felt like what we had been sharing the past few days was nothing more than a dream, except his cologne covered his pillow and quickly became something I could wrap my arms around.

Levi left me notes throughout the house, each one reminding me of simple things like where the mugs were for coffee, how to turn the pool lights on, and what the code is for the security system. The best one though was the one I found sticking to the bathroom mirror telling me that he’s going to miss me, but that he’d be home soon.

It was the word home that really made me smile. Ever since I arrived there has only been one instance where I felt out of place, and Levi apologized for that. I was too forward and scared him. Truthfully, I scared myself too. Kissing him was not part of the plan, but I’m so thankful that I did and that he reciprocated because it’s been the most amazing feeling, being wrapped in his arms.

Darian’s face pops up, taking over the images of Levi and me together. I contemplate letting him go to voicemail but know that this conversation has to happen regardless of it being now or not. Putting it off isn’t going to change the fact that everyone knows that Zara Phillips was caught making out with Levi Austin.

“Hello, Darian.”

“Ah, my sister is alive and well. . . oh, wait. I know she’s alive because she’s sucking face with some country music star.” Darian says the last part with some bite. I honestly don’t care if he has a problem with Levi’s profession.

“I wasn’t aware that there were rumors about my death. I must’ve missed those.”

“Surely you saw where you were caught kissing another man?”

I roll my eyes. I thought for sure Darian would stay on my side with this divorce, but maybe that isn’t the case right now. “I was kissing a man, not another. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m single.”

“And ready to mingle, I take it. Who is this guy?” he asks before I can respond to his stupid pun.

“Levi Austin. You should look him up.”

“I did, Z, and seriously, a country star? What on earth could you have in common?”

Nothing and that’s the beauty of it all. I like that we have to ask each other questions because we don’t run in the same circles, that we have to take the time to communicate and not already know everything about each other because we have the same background. Sitting with Levi and asking him about his town, his music and career, learning about the girls, the horses, and being immersed in his life has proven that two people can connect when they’re opposites.

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