Who was to say what might happen… a tiny, traitorous voice spoke in the back of my mind. The voice sounded strongly like a hissing snake, and then, like my mother, urging me to never reveal my secrets, never use any magic. Of course, she was right—I knew that, I’d see what could happen… but at this point, what was one more disaster if it meant achieving a greater-good?
Gods, Scion’s mentality was beginning to rub off on me if I now thought ends justified means.
Pushing that horrible thought aside, I focused instead on the task at hand. There was no point worrying about it if I couldn’t achieve shadow walking in the first place.
Like folding a map. Like walking in between two shadows.
I shut my eyes, trying to conjure a mental image of the obsidian castle; of the long, winding halls, the gleaming black crystal and never-ending maze of locked doors.
I certainly did not want my first attempt at shadow walking to succeed, only to land in the middle of a battle, or the blazing tower.
I inhaled deeply and visualized the kitchens. I clenched my teeth, feeling the muscles in my jaw twitch with tension. I could feel beads of sweat gathering on my forehead as I took a single, measured step forward, as far as I could go with the ropes holding taut.
I knew before I opened my eyes that it hadn’t worked.
I willed myself to open my eyes, a deep-seated dread filling my heart. I had expected the sensation of free-falling and the pressure of nausea in my stomach, yet nothing. The floor remained beneath me, unmoving. There was no darkness, no spinning whirlwind.
I can do this. It cannot possibly be that hard.
I tried again, this time imagining falling into darkness. Tumbling down a long slide, arms flailing, untethered and unattached.
But again, when I opened my eyes, nothing had happened.
Nothing.
I stepped in the other direction, as far as the ropes would let me go. I moved faster, more abruptly, jumped, went backwards.
Nothing. Nothing.Nothing.
My hope crumbled like ash in my hands. Burned away like the flames licking up the burning castle.
There was nothing to be done. Again, I would be trapped, helpless, unable to do anything to protect myself or anyone else I cared about. Again, I would have to face that whatever I might like to think to the contrary, the Fae would always best me, always be stronger. I’d tried to protect myself with ignorance, and in reality, I’d crippled myself. I might have once had the spark of a weapon, but I had no idea how to use it. I’d never learned to protect myself and now there was nothing I could do.
I would have laughed, but I couldn’t find the energy, bleak despair washing over my mind. Like slow moving shadows.
My arms ached, and the muscles in my shoulders burned from all the pulling, and my mind felt more exhausted even than my body. I closed my eyes and sank to sit on the dusty floor, leaning sideways against the rough, wooden stall door. The air felt thick, or perhaps that was the lump in my throat, the buzzing in my ears drowning out every other sound.
Then, all at once, I jolted, realizing I was still leaning, leaning too far with no door to fall against. My stomach lurched as I felt myself tip sideways, the darkness swallowing me, until it was no longer possible to tell if my eyes were open or closed.
I screamed. Or, I thought I did.
Then all at once, I toppled onto flat, familiar, stone.
42
LONNIE
THE OBSIDIAN PALACE, THE CITY OF EVERLAST
My senses returned slowly, one by one.
First came sound. Muffled screaming and pounding footsteps, combined with the blood rushing through my ears. Every noise felt too loud, rattling my bones and making my teeth clench painfully together.
Then, sensation, as I registered the meaning of pain at all and understood that I’d landed too hard, my knees biting into the floor, and my arms still bound behind my back.
Scent and taste—the odor of overpowering smoke and ash was hot and acrid in my nose. I gagged and could taste the metallic bite of sulfuric acid on my tongue, the bile rising into my throat.
And finally, my sight came back to me, my eyes cracking open, as slowly and painfully as a newborn foal.