Page 86 of Harbinger

“What do you drink?” she asks me over the music as she holds her card out to the bartender.

“A honey whiskey, please,” I reply loudly, looking around.

The place is packed with people, many of whom are showing way more skin than I am. I find Ronan across the room, and when I realize his eyes are on me, I blush, turning as Elena taps me on the shoulder, drink in hand.

“What do you want, Jerry?” she asks her as Jerry stares at someone in the distance. She doesn’t answer, so I snap my fingers in her face, finally gaining her attention.

“An Everclear,” she says, her face completely straight. We stare at her for a moment, trying to figure out if she’s joking.

“Like, as a shot?” Elena asks, confused.

“No, like on the rocks. Like you have.”

We look at the bartender, who’s busy with someone else at the end of the bar. He’s steadily making his way back to us.

“Okay,” Elena says, her eyes wide as she turns to order.

When Jerry finally has her drink, I’m dragged to the center of the dance floor by the women, dancing between them. The beat takes over, and the more alcohol is consumed, the more I forget about everything happening in my life.

And it dawns on me that this is what it’s like having friends. Having family. This is the very first time I’ve had this other than Adam.

I have my sister beside me, getting fucked up on Everclear and feelings for someone she sees across the bar but won’t talk to, and a new friend who’s been nothing but kind to me since the moment I met her, even when everyone else hated me.

And I have Ronan.

The man who sits next to Brandon and Zach, his eyes never leaving my body as he watches me dance.

I run my hands up my body, holding them up above my head as I dance to the heavy beat, my eyelids growing heavy as I realize more and more that I want him.

But not tonight.

It wouldn’t be a good idea.

I’d rather not make this worse and suffer for the next couple of days. It should be better tomorrow.

“Ronan hasn’t looked anywhere else,” Elena whispers to me. “Go get him.”

At this point, I’ve had more than enough alcohol. I’ll do anything anyone tells me to do within reason. So I do.

Marching my way over to him, I grab his hands, leading him to the bar. Getting in line, I press myself into him, bringing his hands to my hips.

“Is there something you want?” Ronan asks in my ear, his voice deep. Sultry even.

“I want what I can’t have tonight, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

“Are you feeling better?”

I nod. “I am. I’m not feeling it right now, but I know that it’s going to hurt. One more day.”

He nods, his eyes lighting up. “One more day, and you’re mine,” he says.

I smile at him, and he smiles back, all teeth and dazzling eyes. He looks beautiful.

Ronan doesn’t order a drink, instead taking mine for me as I bring him to the dance floor.

Grabbing his neck, I sway with him to the music, refusing to look away from his handsome face.

He hasn’t shaved since we got married. Not once. Maybe a trim, actually. But he has a nice beard coming in, and the way it tickles my neck when he kisses it sends a thrill to places I’d rather not feel anything right now.

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