Page 25 of Harbinger

And a deep, deep hatred for my parents claws its way to my heart, sinking in and slowly taking over. They left me with this. I’ve tried to run for so long, and they left me with this anyway. This mess. Something that could so easily ruin my life.

“Do you know what their company does?” Jerry asks.

I shake my head. I don’t. Not really.

“They hire mercenaries for high-powered individuals. They don’t ask questions. They just do. Someone wants a competitor taken out? Done. Someone wants a climate activist who’s been grating on their nerves dead? They make it look like a suicide. After all, there really is a mental health crisis in this country. These people have no regard for human life and no empathy for a single individual. All they see is the price of death. The money they get for taking someone out. That’s all they care about. Do you know how many good people have been murdered by them? How difficult they’ve made our lives as people who have to keep these idiots in control?”

I shake my head.

“They’ve taken whole families out, Sydney. Entire bloodlines. Just because some man sitting in a leather chair somewhere asked for it to happen. Our parents have wiped out whole families, do you understand that? They’ve approved that call. They’ve exchanged cash for it. And you know what? Mom and dad didn’t have the fuckingballsthat Jeffery Wright does. However horrible they were, triple it. Jeffrey knows what he’s doing. He has an in with way more politicians. Way more powerful people. Mom and dad stuck to murder for hire, but Jeffrey Wright is going to dabble in world conflicts.”

I feel my skin grow clammy as my vision grows blurry. I don’t want this. I don’t want the responsibility; I don’t want the hurt that this is going to cause.

I feel like I’m running from something I shouldn’t. Like this is my responsibility to fix, but I know it’s not. At least, that’s what my therapist would say.

If I changed, well, every single part of this story for our session.

I black out.

Fifteen years ago

The sun beats down on my face as I lay in the tall grass. The sound of birds chirping and construction vehicles surrounds me, and I try my best to stay in the moment.

This peaceful moment. A moment where nothing else exists but me and nature.

I wish it would swallow me whole.

“Sweetie?” I hear my mom call from up the hill. I turn, finding her standing there, wiping her hands on a towel.

It wasn’t long ago that I heard the gun go off. I’m not sure who it was this time or what they did, but I know they probably didn’t deserve it.

“Yeah?” I call out.

“We’re going to have dinner in ten, okay? Jeffrey’s here.”

I nod, my blood running cold as I turn back around and plop my body back down on the hard ground.

It seems like my peace is over for the night.

We’ll be leaving tomorrow, and I can’t help but imagine the day I get out of here.

The only thing I’ll miss is this place.

Back home, I have no friends. My parents send me to an elite private school.You’re only supposed to be surrounded by the best,they would say to me. But what friends I do have don’t actually like me. They’re made to be friends with me to get their parents in Mom and Dad’s good graces, hoping that, at some point, they can help them.

I don’t think any of them actually know what they do. What actually happens in their home, at work, and even here.

But I do.

And it’s something I wish to forget.

We’ve been coming here for as long as I can remember. Twelve years of my life, and this has been the only place I feel like myself. Like I can be normal.

I fist the dirt in my hand, feeling it sift through my fingers as I let it go. Tiny pebbles scratch at my skin.

I don’t know why this place feels more home than home is. There are far more bodies buried here. More secrets.

But here, I can get away from it. I can pretend I don’t see it.

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