Page 53 of Harbinger

But I know it’s also something that I have to do, and I know that I have the guts to do it. Everything will be okay, and we’ll be home before we know it, ready to deal with this head-on.

“I hope you and Jerry can learn to get along,” Elena says suddenly, leaning back in her seat as she swipes a braid from her forehead. I look at her, curiosity radiating from me. She puts her hands up, shaking her head slightly. “All I’m saying is that I’ve known Jerry for a long time, and she’s never been this nice to an outsider.”

“This is her being nice?” I ask her, dropping my spoon as I stare at her, mouth agape.

She chuckles. “Yeah, surprising, right? You should have seen her when she first met me. Mean as a dog.”

I can picture it. “Why was she mean to you?”

“I messed up my first mission,” she tells me, taking another bite before taking a long sip of water. “Not my finest moment. I’m one of the newest people here, but I’ve still been here a long time. She had an established relationship with everyone here. I almost put their lives in jeopardy.” She shrugs.

“I’m sorry,” is all I can think to say.

She smiles. “Why are you sorry? It was my own problem. I should have known better at the time. My point is that Jerry has a big heart, no matter how tough she tries to make herself seem. She’s been trying to find a family for herself for years, and when she finally found it, she refused to let go. Anything that threatens it is her enemy.” She pauses for a minute, looking me over. “I think that you two are more similar in different ways than you think, and eventually, you’ll be able to talk about it.”

I ponder her words. “I don’t expect her to forgive me. But I do hope that at some point she does.”

Elena looks at me as if she feels bad for me, her large brown eyes searing into mine, and I sink into myself.

“Finish eating and come meet me in my room,” she tells me as she suddenly gets up.

“Which room is yours?” I’ve seen her come down the stairs, but I never paid attention to which room she was coming out of.

“Fourth room, just knock, and I’ll get the door.”

* * *

“How many dresses did you guys buy the other day?” Elena asks as she examines the array of dresses spread out on her bed.

I shrug. “I figured if I was going to be kidnapped, I might as well make the most of it, you know?”

She smiles, picking one of them up.

“Stand over there,” she says, holding the dress up to me.

“I don’t know everything about tonight, but I know it’s a black-tie dinner. There’s going to be some type of fundraiser, but I’m not sure for what. There will be speeches, a dinner, of course, and the last one I went to had dancing.”

“You went to one of these?” I ask in surprise.

“You have no idea how many shady business deals go down at those dinners. They have them all the time. There’s usually at least one of us there at all times.”

I nod, pursing my lips. “That makes sense.”

“I think you should go with the silver,” she says as she shoves the shimmery fabric in my arms.

“You think it’ll look good enough?”

Elena nods. “It’s gorgeous, professional, sexy; you’ll look amazing in it.”

I smile, sitting down on the end of her bed. “If you don’t mind me asking, do you remember your life before this?” I’ve been thinking a lot about all of this. About what it means for the world. I didn’t know that this project existed, and neither does anyone else. And it should stay that way. But what’s going to happen when Atlee Enterprises gets taken down? What’s the next step? I assume they have a million other issues they work on weekly. I mean, Ronan did say that they only really just had a break in the case. But it makes me wonder how much really happens.

She shakes her head, sitting next to me. “No, I don’t.”

“Do you ever feel like your life was taken away from you?” I’ve also been trying to figure out why what happened to the Fallen Angels feels wrong. How are they supposed to know that they were taken from bad circumstances? For an agency known for doing shady things, I don’t quite understand why all of them have such trust in the system that’s controlling them.

And then I think about me. Growing up. Also stuck in something I couldn’t control, spiraling further and further until I couldn’t breathe. Until I had no choice but to run. To get out however necessary.

Elena thinks for a minute, looking at her hands. “I like to believe that I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean that it’s true. There are people here who know the truth about what happened to us. People I trust. I don’t want to know what happened to me; I don’t want to feel that pull of curiosity. I shut that out a long time ago. But for the most part, I believe what we do here is necessary and good, so I don’t tend to dwell on the past. What’s done is done; there is only moving forward.”

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