Page 2 of Pucker Factor

“There’s no clear path inside,” Cash answered. “All exits are covered by tangos. We’re going to have to flush the toilet and hope we don’t swirl any hostages in the process.”

“Fucking great,” IRIS muttered. “I’m so glad I got out of bed this morning to face probable death. You know, Jane wants to try for a baby.”

“Seriously?” I heard Thumper ask.

“Not really. She just uses it as an excuse to have sex.”

“She needs an excuse?” I asked. “Why are you holding out?”

“I’m not, but she thinks it somehow makes it more exciting.”

“Ladies,” Cash snapped. “Can we get back to the job? There’s a woman shaking with fear as she faces imminent death.”

“Dark and twisty, boss. I like it,” IRIS retorted. “Alright, let’s get to work. And remember, if you shoot the bomb, it goes boom and we all die a horrible death where no one will ever find our bodies.”

“Thanks for the clarification,” I muttered as if we didn’t know that already.

“Alright, on my count, let’s plunge these fuckers,” Cash said.

“Wait, plunge?” Kavanaugh interjected. “I think you mean we’re going to flush them.”

“Yeah, he’s right, boss,” Slider spoke up. “Plunging them would actually be like reviving them.”

“Actually, it would be reviving them, only to send them swirling down the toilet,” Red clarified. “I would say he had it right.”

“Does it really fucking matter?” Cash snapped.

“Just want to be clear on the job, boss,” Kavanaugh laughed.

“Fuck this. You guys talk too much,” IKE muttered just before shoving the door open and stepping out into the room, firing at the tangos before the rest of us were truly ready.

Gunfire erupted and I quickly moved in, firing at the tangos to my right, taking out two of them before Kavanaugh took down the third. Screams filled the room as the hostages scurried under any surface they could for cover. I moved swiftly through the room to a closed office. Flinging the door open, I saw a man shaking with fear and a woman with a bomb strapped to her chest, looking completely calm, holding a dead man’s switch.

“Fuck,” I swore, turning to the window where I knew Cash could see me from his sniper’s nest in the opposite building. “You could have told us she had a dead man’s switch.”

“I can’t see through doors. I only got a glimpse of her,” Cash retorted.

IKE strolled over to where I stood and stared at the woman holding the switch. “That wasn’t nearly satisfying enough.”

“Yeah? Didn’t get to kill anyone with your bare hands?”

He shrugged slightly. “I miss the scent of fear. This isn’t the same. They didn’t even know we were coming.”

I shook my head at his fucked up perspective. “Yeah, sorry we took you away from all that.”

“What are you gonna do, you know?”

“Go back to killing people on your own?” I suggested.

“Let’s clear the floor and get to work dismantling that bomb,” Cash said. “I’ve got the watch.”

“Copy that.”

“Yeah, you guys do the simple work and I’ll dismantle the bomb,” IRIS snickered as he walked through the door with his gear.

“Everyone, listen up!” I shouted. “If you’ll please follow us in an orderly fashion to the elevators—” But I didn’t get a chance to finish as screaming ensued and people got up, running to get out of the building. “Don’t push!” I shouted as a stampede of people pushed and shoved to get to the elevator first. I was shoved from behind, and nearly fell to my damn knees as a screaming woman swung her twenty-pound bag at my head like I was a fucking terrorist she was trying to escape. I grabbed her by the arm and almost cold-cocked her, but thought better of it when I saw the terror on her face. I had to remind myself that these people weren’t used to being surrounded by danger.

Red and Kavanaugh took over directing traffic to the elevator while Thumper and Slider grabbed the man from the office and led him out. I walked over to the tangos and started searching for identities. IKE joined me, scoffing and kicking them as he passed.

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