Page 72 of A Monstrous Claim, Part 2

You have to come back to me.

Another twist in my chest leaves me breathless. I stare down at her peaceful face, desperate to see her green eyes staring back at mine. Eager to hear her laugh, to see her smile. It doesn’t matter that we’ve won the war or that I’ll now step into my role as king of this half of the monster realm.

None of it matters, not when Devyn’s pulse is fading a little more with every minute that passes.

Next to us, Azarius stirs, gasping a breath as his eyes pop open and he struggles up onto his elbows. His head whips around in our direction.

“Rafe…”

I hear him but can’t acknowledge it. I’m too focused, silently pleading with the universe to not take the one thing I want more than anything else in my life. More than all the money and power I could ever have. More than the entire realm and all my loyal subjects.

I want Devyn.

“Is she okay?” Azarius asks, and again, I ignore him.

I don’t have it in me to mutter the doubts clawing their way up my throat. I can’t give into them, can’t believe that dark possibility hovering over us like a heavy rain cloud. The possibility that she won’t open her eyes. That her heart will slow to utter stillness and she won’t take another breath.

“Fuck,” I mutter, running my thumb over her chin. There’s a hollow feeling in my chest, eating me from the inside like acid, and it hurts more as the seconds tick by.

Why won’t she just open her eyes?

“All I wanted was to keep you safe,” I whisper, squeezing her limp body to my chest like it’s my own personal lifeline. If she dies, I’m not entirely sure she won’t take my soul with her.

I sent her away, knowing that when I saw her again, everything would be perfect. I didn’t tell her how I felt, because I assumed I would have all the time in the world. I thought once everything was said and done, I could tell her how much I need her.How much I love her…

Now I might never get that chance.

A lump forms in my throat, and I swallow hard to dislodge it.

As much as I don’t want to entertain the thought, if she dies right now in my arms, she’ll never know any of it. She’ll only know the limited feelings I showed her, the way I kept her at arm’s length to protect her from my demon. Despite my efforts to keep her safe, it wasn’t enough. I didn’t do enough, didn’t fight hard enough. If she dies now, I won’t blame anyone but myself, nor will I ever shake the guilt of losing her.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, the words coming out before I can stop them. I lean down to press my forehead to hers, closing my eyes and picturing our last conversation at the mansion. I regret every word I didn’t say, every thought I held onto thinking there would be a later time to tell her. “I’m sorry for everything, Devyn. I tried to keep you safe, and I failed. I wanted to give you the world, and I couldn’t.”

I press my lips to her cheek before straightening and opening my eyes once more.

She’s so peaceful she could be sleeping, and I wish that’s all this was. Her resting in my arms after a hard day, and not her knocking on death’s doorstep.

Fuck, how could I have been so stupid?

I shouldn’t have held anything back. Devyn is so brave, so strong. I know she would have been alright, but I was afraid.

“I was so scared I would hurt you, so scared I would lose you,” I say, fighting past the lump in my throat. “But more than that, I was scared to love you, Devyn. No one has ever meant as much to me as you do, and it was a terrifying feeling. I love you, and I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving it to you, but I need you to wake up. I need you to stay with me.Please.”

My voice cracks on the last word, along with my heart, and my hand begins to tremble against her cheek.

“Please.” My voice is a whisper that barely makes it to my own ears. “I don’t want any of this if I don’t get to share it with you.”

A comforting hand lands on my shoulder, and I don’t have to look to know it’s Elio. There’s nothing he can say or do to alleviate the crushing weight of heartbreak threatening to smother me, but his presence is comforting. I can also tell without looking that he’s crying, which pulls further at my taut heartstrings until they snap.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen.

We were supposed to fight, we were supposed to win, and then we weresupposed to be happy.

The swelling emotions in my chest explode, and I unleash a hellacious roar that echoes through the air, silencing the monsters around us. Silently, one by one, they drop to their knees, heads bowed in respect. Whether it’s for me or Devyn, I’m not sure, and I don’t care.

Elio kneels on my left, looking down at our mate while tears continue to fall, and Azarius joins on my right. My heart aches for them because they love her too, and losing her would be a devastating blow for them as well, but they weren’t dumb enough to hide their feelings from her.

They’ve shown her every day how much they care for her, and I envy them because of it. If I get another chance, I won’t screw it up. Devyn will never spend a second more wondering about my feelings for her. I swear, I’ll make every second of doubt up to her, and I’ll worship her like the queen she is.My queen.

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