Page 106 of The Consequences of Love and Vengeance

His palm starts to run up and down the length of my arm. I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. I know I am. I’ve seen it plenty of times on the job. But right now, it’s me, and my heart is jackhammering so hard, threatening to rip out of my chest.

I can’t turn it off. I don’t know how to compartmentalize this. It’s impossible. How do people survive this type of thing? This is unchartered territory for me and it’s completely unraveling me.

“Miss Andrews, you are going to have to calm down, or I’ll have to give you something to relax you.”

His words have an effect on me—or my body; I don’t know which. I know I don’t want to be given more medication. I don’t want to be sedated. I know that’s what they do to patients who have suffered traumatic events and can’t control their mental state. That will not be me. I won’t let my emotions take center stage. I may have lost one life today, but there is still a chance another can be saved—no matter how small of a chance that is, I’ll take it. He needs me. And maybe I need him too.

I pull in a deep, cleansing breath, expanding my lungs to full capacity before exhaling slowly. There are tears behind my eyes, stinging and threatening to spill, but I won’t allow them. Not now. Not here. And not in front of Drago or this physician.

I’m stronger than this, both mentally and physically. I’m a woman who will not break, not right now at least. I have never shown weakness. I’m not about to start now. I will hold my shit together for as long as I have to.

“If this is too mentally taxing on you, Miss Andrews, just say the word, and I’ll give you something to allow you to rest. It’s what you need the most.”

What I need the most?

How dare he? He doesn’t know a damn thing about what I need the most. The two things I need the most are gone.

The first, the thing I didn’t even think I wanted, at least not right now, is gone forever. The second, Gabriel, I may never find because every hour that passes makes it less likely…

All the “what ifs” start to plague my mind. The painful thoughts are distracting, but I push them deep into my subconscious where I can deal with them when the time is right. When I’m alone and have Gabe back in my arms, safe.

I. Will. Not. Break.

“No,” I bite out, lacing my word with as much venom as I can muster.

I do not need drugs. I control my emotions.But do I really?I’m hanging on to the little bit of control I have in me so that I can get out of here and find my little guy.

“I don’t want more drugs.”

I take another deep breath, feeling physical discomfort for the first time since waking up. Taking so much air in causes an ache on my right side, just under my breast, shooting downward. I do my best to work through it, squeezing D’s fingers until the pain releases its hold on me.

“Baby,” he soothes.

“I don’t understand,” I finally say. “We’ve used protection every time. How—”

Drago cuts me off.

“Not... every time.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Not... every time.

His voice is raw; like a confession.

Turning my head, I look at him as if he’s grown two heads.

“What do you mean, ‘not every time’?”

“I’ll leave the two of you alone. If you need anything at all just buzz for the nurse.” Dr. Thornton clears his throat before he leaves, but I gain my wits enough to stop him from reaching the door.

“Wait.” I pull my hand from between D’s, turning my attention back toward the doctor. “When will I be discharged?”

“I’m sorry?” His head rears back as if he didn’t hear me correctly.

“What can you do to rush the paperwork along so I can get out of here?”

“Detective Andrews.” He addresses me as a cop instead of a patient. “You were shot tonight. You have a mild concussion. You’ve had a miscarriage. If you were thinking clearly, you’d know we aren’t going to release you, at least not tonight. I want to keep you at least twenty-four hours for observation.”

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