Page 97 of The Girl I Once Loved

"Stop the boat," I say suddenly, surprising even myself as I unzip my life jacket like a woman possessed.

Noah raises an eyebrow but complies, shutting off the engine and allowing the boat to come to a standstill. I know he’s concerned, but he doesn’t protest.

I climb to the edge of the boat, my knees shaking as I stare down at the water below. It’s so clear, so inviting, and yet, it holds the power to terrify me like nothing else.

Without giving myself time to overthink, I take a deep breath and jump. The shock of the cold water hits me like a bucket of ice, and I gasp as I resurface. Panic surges through me, and I flail for a moment, fear dragging me down.

Noah's voice rings in my ears, calling my name, but I can’t hear him over the roaring in my head. It’s like all my fears, all the times I’ve been scared in my life, were converging on me in this moment.

But then, something shifts within me. I remember all the times I’d tried to hide in the shadows in high school, trying to avoid attention, trying not to stand out. I remember the years I’d spent ghostwriting for others instead of writing my own stories. I remember the years I’d spent being afraid of everything in general.

This fear of the water is just another layer, another barrier that’s held me back for far too long.

I want to be done with all of it.

I want to emerge from this water, reborn, unburdened by fear and doubt.

With all the strength I can muster, I push myself to the surface, breaking through the water like a baptism. I gasp for breath, the air filling my lungs with newfound life. I tread water for a moment, the fear slowly receding.

As I move around in the water, my thoughts become a swirling tempest. Memories of my past mistakes and regrets churn in my mind like turbulent waves. The times I've held myself back, the chances I've missed—all of it weighs heavily on me. But here, in the water, it’s like I have an opportunity for redemption, a chance to rewrite the narrative of my life.

The sensation of being buoyed by the ocean is both liberating and terrifying. It's a reminder that life is filled with uncertainty, that sometimes we must let go of the safety of the shore and venture into the unknown. It's a metaphor for the journey I'm embarking on—to confront my deepest fears, to heal old wounds, and to become the person I've always longed to be.

With each stroke, I try to let go of the past, to release the pain and regrets that have held me captive. The water seems to absorb my fears and doubts, carrying them away with the waves. I think about all the times I've been scared in my life and how those fears have shaped me. It's as though I'm shedding layers of my old self with every movement, emerging from the depths as someone new.

The fear that initially threatened to overwhelm me now takes a backseat to a growing sense of determination. I've spent too long allowing fear to dictate my choices, to hold me back from living the life I deserve. In this moment, I refuse to be controlled any longer.

As I swim, I imagine all the missed opportunities, the moments when I hesitated or turned away from what I truly wanted. I've carried those regrets with me for far too long, and it's time to let them go. The water washes over me, cleansing my soul as I embrace the unknown.

I dip below the surface once more, allowing the water to envelop me completely. It's a moment of surrender, a symbolic act of shedding my old self. In the quiet beneath the waves, I feel a sense of peace and renewal wash over me.

When I resurface, gasping for breath, I'm filled with a profound sense of liberation. The ocean, once a source of terror, has become a symbol of my resilience and strength. I've confronted my fear head-on, and in doing so, I've reclaimed a piece of myself.

Noah had jumped into the water when I did, and he’s watching me with a glimmer of pride. He reaches out, and I take his hand, letting him pull me closer.

"You did it, Sky," he murmurs, his voice filled with awe.

I nod, tears mixing with the water on my face. "I did it."

We swim back to the boat together, and Noah helps me climb back on board. I sit there, shivering but feeling strangely exhilarated. The world around me has taken on a new clarity. The sunlight dances on the water's surface, and I feel like I'm part of something greater than myself—a universe filled with endless possibilities. The fear that once held me captive has loosened its grip, and I'm determined to keep moving forward, to face whatever challenges lie ahead with courage and grace.

Noah wraps a warm towel around my shoulders, his fingers gentle as they dry my hair. "You were incredible, Sky. I'm so proud of you."

I smile at him, feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. "Thank you for being here with me, Noah. For helping me face my fears."

He leans in and kisses me softly, his lips warm against mine. "I'll always be here for you, Sky. Always."

As we sail back to the shore, I think that perhaps, this moment is just the beginning. I’ve taken a step towards conquering my fear of the water, and now, I’m ready to start conquering the rest of my life.

With Noah hopefully by my side.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Skylar

“These new chapters you’ve sent me are chef’s kiss, darling. My jaw hasn’t left the floor with how good they are,” Eliza praises over the phone, unable to keep her excitement at bay.

“They are still very rough drafts, Eliza, but I do appreciate the enthusiasm,” I reply, feeling a little lightheaded with her feedback.

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