Page 41 of The Girl I Once Loved

Because what is a life, if you can’t share it with the person you love?

“Noah? Are you okay? You’ve been awfully quiet,” my father asks worriedly beside me. “Is this attention getting too much for you, son? We can go home if you want.”

“It’s fine, Dad.I’mfine. Just tired,” I explain, forcing a smile to my lips to ease his concern.

“I knew this was a bad idea bringing you out tonight. You should be resting. Not strolling through Main Street for everyone to fawn over you.” My father shakes his head.

“And miss the fireworks?” I arch a teasing brow. “No way. Besides, who says I don’t like the attention?”

“Me. Your father, that’s who,” he retorts protectively. “We should go home. You can see the fireworks just fine from our porch without half of Thatcher’s Bay gawking at you like you’re some exotic animal in a zoo.”

“Leave the boy be,” Clara quickly comes to my rescue. “He knows his own mind by now. If Noah says he’s fine, then he is.” She throws me a conspiring wink, knowing the real reason why I was eager to tag along with them tonight instead of staying back at the house.

My father frowns disapprovingly but is smart enough not to say anything since he knows when he’s outnumbered, two to one.

Not that it’s anything new to him. It’s been like this for a while now in our household. When it comes to me, Clara always has my back, making a point of supporting me at every turn, even in the most mundane of decisions. A fact that hasn’t been lost on my father over the years.

Hell, it might even be the reason we’re as close as we are now.

Somewhere along the line, my father and I laid down our weapons of mass destruction and past resentments and started communicating—really talking and listening to one another. Maybe it was being out at sea with him for long spells of time where we couldn’t avoid each other and had to learn to trust each other again to ensure our own survival that shifted something inside us. Made us heal all the grudges we once had. All that pain.

Not that I made it easier on him, or anyone else for that matter.

And though it wasn’t pretty in the beginning, and it took time, somehow we both managed to weather the storm and come out on top anyway. It didn’t hurt that we both had Clara to lean on for support, either. And in those early days where my pain was louder than reason, a sensible shoulder to cry on was exactly what I needed. Instead of giving myself to my grief and anger, as I was prone to do, I found myself leaning on them both for grace and guidance.

I’m not sure I would have survived any other way.

As if sensing where my head is at, Clara hugs my arm and gives it a little squeeze.

“How about we go and find the girls before the fireworks start?” she asks, unable to hide the hope flickering in her eyes.

I give her a clipped nod, since unlike her, hope is a luxury I can’t afford to have. All it will do is fuck with my head, and I do that just fine on my own.

Still, I can’t help but recall our earlier conversation on our front lawn before I left for the boat race this morning. How Clara still holds out hope that fate and destiny might have a few tricks up their sleeves for me—and for her daughter.

“Remember what I told you? If it’s meant to be, life will find a way to bring you back to each other? Maybe this is that chance. A gift to heal all the misery you both had to endure.”

“I know your heart is in the right place and you mean well, Clara, but you’re being delusional right now. Sky has made it very clear she wants nothing to do with me. She hates me.”

“Does she? I’m not so easily convinced that’s how she feels about you.” She sighs, saddened. “One thing is certain, though. My daughter is unhappy. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I doubt she’s experienced one moment of true happiness since we pushed her away. And knowing you’ve been just as miserable… well… I live with that guilt every day.”

“Don’t. You didn’t make her leave—I did.”

“And you did that because I meddled. Because of me, my daughter is a shell of her former self, and my boy has closed his heart to the world for good. Tell me, Noah, how am I able to live with that guilt?”

“You were just looking out for her best interest. We both were,” I try to comfort, but Clara’s eyes begin to water regardless, just proving that I wasn’t the only one in this house who suffered from Skylar’s absence.

“For years, I convinced myself of that same thing, but now…,” she stammers, quickly wiping away the errant tears in her eyes before a stream of them follows. “Now, I’m not so sure. Maybe we were wrong. Maybe the best thing for my Skylar was to stay here in Thatcher’s Bay with us. With her family. And with the boy she loved with all her heart.”

It’s at this moment that Clara wistfully looks up towards Sky’s room, my gaze all too eager to follow her direction.

“No use dwelling on the past. It’s done. Can’t turn back the hands of time anymore than you can erase it,” I mumble, staring at the blank space of her bedroom window, watching as the sweet summer breeze blows its way inside, taunting me with how easy it is for it to get close to her, when I’ve been ordered to stay away.

“You’re right. We can’t change the past,” Clara says, giving my hand a light squeeze, “But that doesn’t mean our future is set in stone. You, more than anyone, know how if we put our mind to something, there isn’t anything we can’t accomplish.”

“And just exactly what do you expect me to do?” I ask outright, feeling my Adam’s apple bob with constricting emotion as I keep staring at Skylar’s window, wishing I could catch just a quick glimpse of her.

“I expect you to do what you always do.” Clara smiles meekly. “Just follow your heart, Noah. The rest will come easily enough.”

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