Page 14 of The Girl I Once Loved

"That's kind of why we’re on a break. Because I can't commit. I can't say I love you. I can't move in with him. I just…can't."

I'm shocked at myself for being so honest, but then again, Daisy’s always possessed a special talent for getting words out of me. The words that I can't give anyone else. Heck, if she asked the right questions, maybe I could actually write my own damn book.

"Do you love him?" she questions.

"No," it's an easy answer that slips from my tongue. Maybe not the whole answer, but the answer nonetheless. I love him for him. I love him as a friend, and I respect him as a man and a person. But when I compare it to the love I felt in the past, it doesn't even come close.

It's strange to think I’ve been in mourning all these years. I stare out the window at the town that hasn't changed, wondering how it is that it could be completely untouched by my heartache. The moments that have inscribed themselves into my soul, rewritten my whole life, and every action that's happened…there's no sign of it.

I watch people smile and laugh on the sidewalk of the small town, and I want to yell at them. Scream. Ask them how dare they laugh? Don't they know thatthisis where my life was ruined?

Fuck. I should've gotten that therapist after all.

"Well, fuck him," Daisy suddenly growls. I startle and glance over at her, because I was caught in my own little world.

"I think I'm the bad guy in this situation…" I remark.

She shakes her head emphatically and slaps the steering wheel. "A man should wait forever for you, Sky. There's no one else like you. He'll regret that forever," she says emphatically.

I grin at her fondly. She’s always able to see the best in me. Even when I can’t see it in myself.

Once again, guilt floods my chest, thinking of all I’ve missed out on with her all these years.

Today is a new day though,I tell myself.

I can be better.

Daisy turns left and I frown, staring at the road we should have taken. "Um, isn't this the wrong way?" I ask, motioning in the direction of where the bed and breakfast I booked is located.

Daisy shakes her head. "Mommayhave canceled your reservation…" she says in a guilty voice.

My eyes widen, sudden anxiety spiking through my veins once again. "Mayhave? Or shedid…"

Every drop of blood inside me is waiting for her response.

"So shedidcancel the reservation. We both want you to stay at the house!" She sees the panic all over my face though and grabs my hand. "But you don’t have to worry…Noah doesn't live there anymore."

My anxiety dissipates a little bit with that statement, and I steadfastly ignore the disappointment floating in my insides too.

"Oh?" I ask, trying to sound casual.

She shoots me a look as she turns down our street, like I'm not fooling her at all.

"Yeah, he lives above the garage now."

Before I can say anything, we’re pulling up the driveway of the house, and I catch a glimpse of a black helmet being pulled down, tips of long blond hair peeking out from under it.

He guns the bike and backs out, racing past us. I duck down in the car seat, just in case he looks over.

I'm incapable of facing him. Not yet. It's going to take a bottle of vodka before I do that.

Noah Fontaine.

Fuck.

I'm sixteen all over again.

Chapter Four

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