Page 61 of Killian

“Oh.”

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked after a brief pause.

I nodded as I plowed into my eggs.

“You broke up with Killian because you never wanted this life,” he said. “You’re here…involved with him again. You do know his life hasn’t changed, in fact, he’s more in than he was back then.”

It was valid, something Teeghan had been asking me about too. Over the last couple of weeks, I had thought about it and why I couldn’t seem to walk away from him again.

“You know, Lorcan, when I broke up with Killian, I was eighteen. I still loved him but I was, well let’s just say I was a little green. I was sunshine and roses as Teeghan calls it. I didn’t like death or crime, but look at what I’ve gone through since then.”

Lorcan nodded. “You’d be okay with Killian doing what he does?”

“Yes,” I said, confidently. “Because, Lorcan, there are a lot of bad people out there. I had no idea how evil and cruel people could be until recently. I’m not a doe eyed eighteen year old anymore, and truth be told, I never expected to marry someone else. I broke up with him because-”

“You thought he would walk away from the business.”

I nodded. “I did.”

“You have to know it wasn’t that he didn’t want you,” Lorcan said. “Our father had a pull over us that none of us could deny.”

“I remember,” I told him. “He was fucking scary. Killian would never allow me to be anywhere near him.”

“He was an asshole and he treated women like his own personal maids, except for our mother. All of us decided never to bring women home to meet him after…”

“After what?”

Lorcan sighed. “He took advantage of a situation when we were younger.”

“Okay, Lorcan, I need a little more than that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, pushing up off the kitchen bench. “It’s in the past.”

I pushed my plate to the other side and he put it in the sink.

“What’s there to do in this big ass place?” I asked, looking around. Lorcan chuckled before he rinsed the plate and put it on the side of the sink to dry.

“Well, we have a couple of big TV’s, all the streaming services you could want, or you can go down to the bay. We have a boathouse you can chill in or you can go into the library, my mother kept a million books.”

“I didn’t know you guys had a houseboat.”

“They don’t. I do. I can take you out if you like, get some peace and quiet.”

“I think we both know that you have to stay here.”

His smile disappeared. “You’re right. Well, you have run of the house, Sloane. Holler if you need anything.”

He started to move away, out of the kitchen, when I grabbed his arm. He turned to face me, his face full of concern.

“He slept with your girlfriend, didn’t he?”

He smiled but I could tell it was forced. “You’re very perceptive.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Like I said…it was a wake up call for us,” Lorcan said, putting his wall up again. “And it’s not like its an issue anymore.”

“Killian protected me from him, just like you would have protected her from him if you knew,” I told him. “Lorcan, you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, the eldest brother, the one who was meant to take over, but you don’t have to do this alone. It’s time for you to find someone to share the burden with.”

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