Page 46 of King of Greed

After an eternity, we boarded the boat and headed out to the dive site. Maybe I’d get lucky and Ignacio would fall off the side and get eaten by a shark. Stranger things have happened.

“You okay? You look like you want to kill our instructor,” Josh, the guy half of the couple in our group, joked. “If you do, wait until we’ve returned to shore. Jules is scared of sharks.”

We’d introduced ourselves earlier. Josh and Jules, the couple, were a doctor and lawyer from Washington, DC. The older man was a businessman visiting from Argentina, and the coeds were students taking a long weekend off from the University of São Paulo.

“I’m notscaredof them.” Jules notched her chin up. “I simply have no interest in meeting them.”

“That’s not what you said when we were watching Shark Week.”

“Excuse me for not liking creatures with that many teeth. At least I don’t cry over Disney movies…”

I tuned out their playful bickering and refocused on Alessandra, who stared out at the ocean with a pensive expression.

“Nervous?” I asked softly. She was fine with surface-level activities like swimming and surfing, but she was terrified of going under the ocean. She’d refused to go scuba diving during our honeymoon, which was why I’d been surprised when Marcelo had told me her plans for the day.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve gone diving before.” She didn’t look away from the water.

A fresh wave of surprise rippled through me. “When?”

“Last year when I went to the Bahamas.”

I vaguely remembered her girls’ trip in the Caribbean. That was the same weekend I’d flown to London to close a deal, and I didn’t recall us ever discussing our respective trips with each other after the fact. I hadn’t asked; she hadn’t offered.

The regret expanded and filled my lungs.

“How did it go?” She must’ve been terrified.

Shame soaked through me. If I hadn’t been so damn oblivious during our marriage, I would’ve been the one she went scuba diving with for the first time. I would’ve held her hand on the boat ride over, distracted her with jokes, and just fucking been there.

We’d stood at the altar and vowed to share our milestones together, but how many had I missed since I had uttered that promise?

Too many.

Alessandra shrugged. “It went well enough that I’m doing it again.”

“Good.” I tapped my fingers against my seat. Nerves twisted through my gut; I felt like a freshman trying—and failing—to talk to the most popular girl in school. “What made you decide to take the plunge? No pun intended.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.The line was so corny I wanted to snatch it back before it fully left my mouth, but at least it got her to look at me. A shadow of amusement crossed her face, and I decided I would deliver as many corny jokes as she wanted if it meant she would look at me with anything other than sadness or wariness.

“I wanted to try something new,” she said. “It was about time. Besides, I stopped being so afraid of the ocean a while ago. I don’t plan on breaking any dive records, but the basic stuff…it’s not so bad. We all have to face our fears eventually, right?”

Some of them. Other fears were better left intact.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see it,” I said quietly. I should’ve been there. I should’ve been a lot of places on a lot of occasions over the years.

My gut churned in time with the engine behind us.

“It’s fine. I was used to it.” Alessandra’s tone was matter of fact, which cut deeper than if she’d spoken out of anger.

Hatred, I could battle. But indifference? That was the death knell for any relationship.

The boat stopped at the dive site. I tried talking to Alessandra again, but she either didn’t hear me or was actively ignoring me as we prepared to go into the water.

Frustration chafed at my skin. The waters surrounding Buzios contained incredible marine life, but I was so focused on Alessandra I barely paid attention to my underwater surroundings.

It was hard to believe she was the same woman who’d lost all color when I’d suggested diving during our honeymoon in Jamaica. Now, she lingered by the corals, marveled at a passing sea turtle, and swam alongside a school of yellow fish. The only time she freaked out was when an eel brushed her shin, but overall, she handled herself with such grace I couldn’t help but smile.

I hated that we’d grown apart, but I loved how much more at ease she was with something that had once terrified her. I was so fucking proud.

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