Page 35 of Twelve Nights In The Prince's Bed

‘Why did you want to sleep with me?’

The question caught something in Poppy’s throat. Her eyes flew to Adrastos’s and she tried desperately to think of an answer.

‘Don’t lie to me,’ he said quietly. ‘I want to understand.’

She opened her mouth then slammed it shut. She supposed it wasn’t an unreasonable question. After all, she’d somewhat blindsided him with her virginity. ‘I didn’t plan for that to happen,’ she muttered.

‘No, but once it did, you could have pulled back.’

‘You were there. You know how you made me feel.’

‘You let me kiss you, when no other man has come close.’

Poppy hadn’t intended to talk to Adrastos about this, but sitting so close, touching beneath the table, she was hypnotised by him, just as always.

‘I’ve thought about that, over the years,’ she said, softly, her lashes dark fans against her soft, milky skin, her attention focussed on the past so she didn’t notice the intensity of Adrastos’s stare. ‘I mean, I’m so out of step.’ She shrugged self-consciously. ‘Ellie, our other friends, they all went through the normal teenage stuff, and I just...didn’t. I never had a crush,’ she said breathlessly, ignoring the feeling beneath her ribs, the heat emanating from Adrastos, the pulsing in the back of her brain making her wonder if maybe that wasn’t true, if maybe she’d had a crush on him all along. She pushed the thought aside because it was too difficult to contemplate and things between them were complicated enough. ‘I knew I wanted to study law. I needed good grades, so I studied hard.’ Her eyes moved to Adrastos thoughtfully. ‘My parents praised me for my grades, you know. They were so proud of me; I didn’t want to let them down. It’s silly, isn’t it? I mean, they aren’t here any more, but I still felt—’

‘It’s not silly,’ he demurred. ‘Not to me.’

Her eyes met his and something strange crackled in the air between them. Was he quick to agree because of his own feelings of loss and grief?

‘But it was more than just being studious.’ She inhaled softly, tried to find the words for her thoughts, then shook her head. ‘You’re going to think it’s childish.’

‘Try me.’

‘Well, I was fourteen when they—when I lost them—and my view of their relationship, of all relationships, is I suppose a little stuck in time. When they died, I saw them as these most perfect people, as a perfect couple. They were so happy, so in love. I’m sure that there were times they argued, that there was more nuance to their relationship. As I’ve got older, I’ve learned that all relationships take work, that people can’t always be perfect and happy and life isn’t completely rosy. But what I saw then? It was like a fairy tale.’ She sighed again. ‘And I guess, somewhere in the back of my mind, I unconsciously decided that that’s what all relationshipsshouldbe like.’ She lifted her shoulders. ‘That if you can’t love someone as my parents loved each other, what’s the point?’

He frowned, but at least he didn’t criticise that thought, nor did he argue with her.

‘I imagine your parents didn’t love each other like that right from the start,’ he pointed out after a brief, thoughtful pause. ‘That kind of connection grows with time. Did it occur to you that in order to share that love, you’d need to start with a date? A friendship that will grow over weeks and months?’

‘Speaking from experience?’ She couldn’t help probing.

His smile was tight, almost dismissive. ‘We’re talking about you right now.’

She lifted her eyes to his and blinked away, almost too embarrassed to say anything else. But having started down the path of baring her soul, she wasn’t inclined now to stop. ‘It’s more than just wanting a perfect relationship,’ she said, pulling her lips to the side, lost in thought. ‘There’s also a question of...chemistry.’

He lifted a brow.

‘You know, I guess I just haven’t felt it that often.’ She didn’t want to admit she’d never felt it with anyone but him. ‘Even as a teenager.’

Perhaps he had questions. In fact, she was sure he did. But Adrastos, always in control, bided his time. ‘That sounds like the opposite of my teenage experience,’ he said with a half-grimace, so she couldn’t help responding with a smile.

‘When hormones ruled your every move?’

‘I would like to think I still showed them who was boss, but that would be a lie,’ he said with a shake of his head. ‘I think I could have found chemistry with a lamp post...’

She laughed, even as a warning bell sounded in her mind. His words reinforced why she had to keep her focus about this, why she had to remember that, for Adrastos, she was just like any other woman.

And for you?a voice in her head demanded, even as Poppy shied away from answering the question.

‘I’m curious, though, Poppy,’ he said, leaning closer and almost kissing the words against the flesh just beneath her ear. It was so sensitive, she trembled. ‘You still haven’t answered my question. Why did you decide to sleep with me?’

Her eyes flared wide and her heart twisted in on itself. ‘I—’ She bit down on her lower lip. ‘Wanted to,’ she said, after a beat.

‘To lose your virginity,’ he murmured, lifting his head just far enough so their eyes could meet. ‘And you thought someone like me, someone who sees sex as an inconsequential act, would be the easiest solution?’

It wasn’t accurate, not really. She hadn’t expected that night to mean anything to him, but that wasn’t why she’d chosen Adrastos, and having him believe that sat strangely in her gut. And yet, she didn’t correct him. Some ancient self-preservation technique had her shrugging, almost as if in agreement.

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