Page 5 of Tendu: Dancing in the Castle

“Read some of it, Phi, even just the wiki, about his injury and stuff. He’s not the delicious forbidden fruit that you think he is.”

That night I sat in bed with the laptop. It wasn’t injury that had ended Aleks’s career, but rheumatoid arthritis. The new school was mentioned in an article. One of its aims was to provide help for injured dancers.

There were many pictures of formal events. The various glamorous women on his arm made me feel inadequate and ridiculous. I was dark to their blonde and awkward in comparison to their obvious confidence. But I was glad that the woman in red didn’t feature. I didn’t like her. Sleep came amid clips of gravity-defying leaps and perfect pas de deux.

Friday brought panic. The internet had done nothing to slow the course of the headlong crush/special interest and two days of no Aleks stretched ahead. He sat at the front of the studio writing notes as the students began to leave after morning class. I lingered over my bag, and Justin stuck his head back round the door.

“What time you finished with your sprogs tonight, Phipot?”

“Seven.” Teaching the college’s part-time young students always made time fly, and would fill up some of Friday evening and much of Saturday.

Justin’s smile was mischievous, and his voice was loud. “It’s been too long. We need to quiver with desire and experience bliss mingled with fear. Meet me there at eight.”

“Where?”

“Sweetheart.” He came back into the studio, feigning horror. “It really has been too long. Natural appetites have clearly been oafed out of you. A Wonkies is long overdue.”

“Oh, good idea.” More time filled.

“We’ve got those teaching forms to do, Malph,” said Will.

“Make it eight-thirty,” I said to Justin.

“Can I come?” was an unusually daring request on the part of Will, given that he was always rebuffed, often in a brusque manner.

I patted his cheek, enjoying the gentle humour of the moment. “You’re too young for such things.” He was ten months younger than me.

“But what is it, this wonky thing? You always make it sound like sex.” He aimed this at Justin. “But it’s obviously not that.”

Justin clapped a hand to his chest in more feigned horror. “Hearst! How dare you speculate about our private lives? This is how rumours start. Yes, we’ve heard them. What takes place between consenting adults in the heart of Soho… stays in the heart of Soho. Don’t be late, Phi.”

“I can just imagine it,” scoffed Simone. “The three of you on a night out: dyslexic, autistic, and…” She paused, thinking carefully before including Justin in the sentence. “You must be something,” is what she finally decided upon.

“Indeed I am, Miss Conner,” he said. “Like my friends here, I am a gorgeous and gifted indigo child.”

“What does that even mean?” she asked.

Will started to reply: “Oh, that’s just Bevan’s hippy way of saying—”

“That we’re better than you,” Justin finished, and Will laughed.

“Or,” Simone said slowly, smiling but not meaning it, “it’s the real reason you’re in this school. We’re not supposed to speak about inclusion policies, but they’re a real thing.” She waved a hand at me and Will. “Neurodiversity. That’s the woke expression, isn’t it?”

Justin laughed. “Oh, I call bullshit. The two of them are way more talented than you. They’re total stars.”

“You’re a star too, Justin,” I said.

He shook his head. “Not in ballet, I’m not.”

“But you are,” I insisted. “You talk about other people having stage presence, but you bring it to everything you do.”

“Do I, Phi? That’s so sweet of you to say.”

“Umm, guys,” interjected Will. “She’s gone.”

“Aww, bless,” said Justin. “So little stage presence that we didn’t notice her leave. Come on, Hearst. I’ll explain Wonkies to you, man to man.” And they left too. Will was undoubtedly about to have his head filled with some completely fabricated nonsense.

And then there were two. Myself and Aleksandr Zolotov. He sat beside the piano, engrossed in his notes, his body cutting a perfect shape against the window and the swirling grey clouds beyond. And, unlikely as it seemed, he appeared left out and alone in the corner.

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