Page 120 of Bloodstained Wings

Carter’s expression tightens. “You are not going anywhere near this war, dove. You’ve already fought enough, and you’ve been dragged into too much of this shit. Don’t ask me about this again.”

I move my arms and pull some of the bubbles closer so they’re covering my chest. “Carter, you know you can ask me for a lot of things, but you can’t ask me to stay out of this. I’m already in it.”

Carter frowns. “That’s not the same thing, and you know it. There’s a big difference between you being forced to deal with this shit and walking right into it.”

I grip the edges of the tub and give Carter a frustrated look. “Don’t split hairs, please.”

Carter shakes his head and gets out of the tub, causing more water to slosh over. I watch his back as he stands over the sink and grips the edge. “I don’t know why you’re being so fucking difficult.”

I frown and sink lower into the water. “I’m not trying to be—”

Carter spins around to face me, and his face is etched in cold fury. “Do you have any idea the kind of things I do for you? What I have to do to keep us safe? To keep you safe? If you knew, you’d be on your knees every night instead of this bullshit.”

Abruptly, I stand up, and I don’t care that more of the water spills over and drowns the bathroom floor. I cross my arms over my chest and give Carter a pointed look. “That’s not fair. I never asked you to do any of those things.”

“I don’t do them because you fucking asked me, dove. I do them because that’s what a man is supposed to do for the woman he loves, and you’re my goddamn fiancée.”

“Exactly.Youpointed it out yourself.I’m your goddamn fiancée. You need to start acting like it. I’m not some prize to be kept or tucked away when you want to take it out and show it off. I’m a human being.”

Carter’s hands clench into fists. “You think I don’t fucking know that?”

I slide one leg over the tub, then the other, and bridge the distance between us. Carter doesn’t move away from me or react when I wrap my arms around his neck and look up so I meet his gaze directly. Instead, he continues to stand there, as stiff as a statue, his breathing harsh and uneven.

I wind my fingers through his hair and breathe out. “Carter, I am not trying to push you away or make your life harder. I know you have a lot to deal with, but I don’t want to be pushed away.”

And I have no idea how much longer I can take him icing me out.

In the beginning, when my dad first died, I didn’t mind because it gave me the chance I needed to process and grieve. While I know that I’m going to miss my dad for the rest of my life, and the pain of not having him around is never going to go away, I also know that I can’t live in it forever.

I can’t dwell on it for the remainder of my life. Not with a baby growing inside of me. And not when I’m trying to fight for a future for Carter and me.

The only chance we have is if we work through the hardship together, side by side, like we’re meant to. Otherwise, we might as well throw in the towel right now and call it a day.

But I can’t imagine doing that, not where Carter is involved, and I know he’d rather die than give up on me.

On us.

Reaching Carter has become more challenging since this whole business with the Philipses and the Natoris, and I know a large part of that is because of me. I should’ve pushed harder.

I shouldn’t have retreated into my shell in order to shut out the outside world. While a part of me appreciates the time I was given away from everything happening, the other part regrets the price I’ve had to pay. Rather than finding everything the same, I realize that the world is quickly moving on without me.

And if I don’t catch up, I’m going to be left behind… by Carter and everyone else. I’m not going to let that happen, not if I can help it.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Isabella

Carter’s hands move to his back, and he unlocks my fingers. Then he steps out of my arms and disappears into the bedroom, where I hear him muttering and shoving things away. Hastily, I snatch a towel from behind the bathroom door and secure it around my chest. Once I do, I nearly lose my footing and go sprawling, face first, onto the floor. At the last second, I catch myself and collide with Carter’s powerful chest. His hands immediately move to my waist to steady me.

I tilt my head back, and the rest of the words die on my lips. Carter has already come a long way, and I can already see how difficult this is for him. How much it’s hurting him to keep me away.

In his own way, he’s trying to protect me by keeping me as far away as possible from the debris and chaos. Considering everything I’ve faced over the past few months, especially as Carter and I have gotten closer, I understand his reasoning.

But I know there has to be another way.

These can’t be our only two options. I refuse to believe that.

Carter keeps his arms around my waist as his eyes move over me, drinking in every inch of me. “You are not being pushed away, dove. I am fucking doing everything within my power to protect you and make sure you don’t get kidnapped again.”

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