Page 71 of Wicked Truths

I can’t even dispute that because I’ve noticed the same thing. He’s a dick to everyone, including Oakley at times. But his attitude with her is more playful banter than straight up asshole, which used to be the entirety of his personality.

“I do think he’s come a long way since you two got together.” It’s hard as fuck for me to admit, but I do because it’s the truth. “I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I’m sorry for the bullshit I caused between us.”

“I wish you would have just told me you aren’t interested in me like that,” Oakley whispers, her eyes squeezing shut. “It didn’t have to turn into this huge divide between us. You gave me some seriously mixed signals. Or I guess maybe I saw what I wanted to.”

“No.” I shake my head vehemently. “Not at all. I was interested. I am attracted to you, but it’s complicated.”

Oakley nods. “Because you don’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”

“Partially, but mostly I’m afraid I can’t be what you need.” A heavy sigh escapes, blowing around her hair.

“Sullivan Lucas Hayes,” she snaps. “We used to communicate. Like actually really talk about our lives and what was important to us. I don’t know why you stopped, but you mean the world to me. Just talk to me dammit.”

“Shit,” I say, staring at the wall. My mind races as I try to figure out how I can deflect without making things worse. Then what Liam said rolls through my mind, followed quickly by Marcus. If I’m not careful I will lose the most important person in my life. “You’re an omega. I’m a beta. I’m never going to be able to meet your needs.” Oakley opens her mouth, but I gently slap my palm over it, shaking my head. If I don’t get it all out there now, then there’s a good possibility that I never will. “And that’s only one thing. I know my designation doesn’t make me any less valuable than alphas or omegas, but I’ve always known you’d need a pack. I won’t be able to knot you or soothe your system with my pheromones.”

Oakley rips my hand down. “Life decisions shouldn’t be made based on what you can’t do for the other person. What about what youcando? You’ve always been my rock. The person I can talk to about anything. We’ve tackled problems together for as long as I’ve known you.”

“We have,” I agree.

“Then what went wrong?” She tilts her head, blinking up at me from behind reddish blonde lashes.

She’s so fucking beautiful, and objectively, I’ve always known that, but the level of desperate attraction I feel for her came on slowly. It grew from subtly not being able to shake my feelings to being downright confused that I’m suddenly interested in sex. I hadn’t considered acting on those impulses before because they were so fleeting. For years I thought something was wrong with me, and just when I was coming to terms with thinking I’m asexual, everything changed.

I open my mouth and all of that flies out.

My face feels like it’s on fire.

“But even knowing that I’m sexually attracted to you doesn’t give me confidence that I’ll always crave sex and intimacy like I have been the last year or so. It came on slowly. What if it goes away?” I bring my free hand up to cover my face. I’m kind of wishing I could spontaneously combust just to get out of this conversation.

“Huh, okay. I get what you mean. I wish I could’ve helped you feel comfortable talking about it before now. I’m here for you, in all ways. Whatever you need from me. I’m kind of hoping we can figure out how to keep things real between us from now on,” she says, brushing her fingers over my pec.

“I think it’s that I didn’t want to start something I couldn’t finish and then risk ruining things even worse because of it.” I groan. “Fuck, I don’t even know if that makes sense.”

“It does,” Marcus says, closing the door behind him. “I thought you were gay, but I couldn’t figure out why you didn’t just come out and tell her that, or at very least stop acting like you wanted her.” He takes a seat on the end of the bed. “That sounded more dickish than I meant.”

Oakley jabs a finger at him. “You don’t need to add your two cents to this conversation, especially if you’re going to be unkind.”

“Point taken.” Marcus slides a hand up, running it over Oakley’s leg. He looks at me. “Why act like her boyfriend though? I saw you scare away more than a few guys before I swooped in. Can you see why that sent mixed messages?”

“It’s confusing, okay?” I snap, pulling Oakley closer. I’m not sure why it feels like she might try to escape, but it sure as fuck does, and I don’t like it. “I can admit I didn’t handle my feelings in the best way.”

“If you’re not comfortable with Marcus being around for this, then just say that please.” She glances from me to him. “And don’t think that means I’m trying to cut you out of anything. You’re stuck with me even if you are a jerk.”

“I love you too, princess,” he murmurs, crawling up and kissing her senseless while she lies directly on my shoulder. My heart tries to pound out of my chest. I didn’t know they were at that level. My gut churns thinking I’ve lost all hope for us having any relationship in the future. “I’m glad you finally got your shit together.” Marcus pats me on the cheek. “If you need to leave for any reason then call me before you do.”

I nod as Oakley trembles against my side. Marcus climbs over the small bar at the end of the bed and heads out without another word.

He’s just about to the door when Oakley calls out, “I do love you too.” The quiver in her voice leads me to believe she’s not used to saying it. Once the door closes, Oakley pushes up on her forearm to look at me. “I care about you too. I’m a little confused about where we stand. You know I’m in a relationship now. Do we focus on rebuilding our friendship? Marcus said he was open to adding other partners, and with my heat coming up, it’s a very real possibility. But I don’t want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable.”

I sigh as my head shakes. “Jesus Christ, can you stop walking on eggshells? Talk to me like you always have. That’s the worst part. I didn’t want it to even be a thing. I’m an adult. It’s just that I’ve never acted on those impulses.”

“But you want to?” she asks. “With me?”

My hand tightens on her hip. “I do, but I’m more attracted to your personality or the way you make me feel than I am to you physically. Or at least at times, oh fuck. I’m absolutely fucking this up.”

Oakley laughs. It’s a light, airy sound that I haven’t heard directed at me in too fucking long. “I feel like maybe we’re overthinking this. Sexuality is flexible. How sexual you are or how much interest you have in sex or physical affection can be too. All I care about is the level of open honesty between us. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too,” I assure her. “Liam tried to tell me something similar—at least to the first part.”

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