Page 2 of Magic and Mayhem

I didn’t mind that he was an alien too.

I wasn’t speciesist or anything, but he would have to stop stealing sparkly shit if we actually dated, and I wasn’t sure he could do that.

“Fucking moron.” I was an idiot. “People who work for the government in any capacity shouldn’t date aliens. Every fucking sci-fi movie proved that point.”

But I had to stop grumbling and pay attention as I started up another windy road. “Who the fuck lives out here?”

Wait.

How far exactly was I from town?

My list of names and addresses had come on a piece of notebook paper and hadn’t included helpful commentary likecareful, he’s nearly feral. My boss and I were going to have a chat about that because some of the delightfully interesting aliens I was supposed to be protecting didn’t have a damned bit of self-preservation instincts when it came to cops. “Fuckers are probably bulletproof, anyway.”

One last turn had me pulling up to a house that looked more like a wooden gingerbread castle than a cabin in the woods. “What the fuck?”

I had to admit it was prettier than the car guy’s trailer and not as creepy as the alien with the weird garden who looked like a college professor who’d gotten lost in the woods, but fuck if I was going in there without backup. “I’m gonna get eaten like Hansel and Gretel.”

Fucking aliens.

Climbing out of the car, I tried to remind myself that I had to be nice to the aliens no matter how weird they looked. “Glowing flashy eyes are probably rude but not dangerous.”

I hadn’t ended up with special powers or dead yet, so it had to be some kind ofI’m pissedspecies thing. I just wasn’t sure if all the aliens could do it but didn’t because they had better fucking manners.

“Hello?” Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, I didn’t even consider getting closer to the beautiful house.

Unlike some people, I had very good self-preservation instincts even though I was stupidly curious.

“It’s Deputy Winslow from town.” Pausing, I was glad that the front door was open with only a screen door in place, but it didn’t seem to be helping me at the moment. “Can I get a moment of your time?”

Again, silence.

I’d just about decided to head back to the car when a bubbly voice called from somewhere around the back of the house. “I’m coming. I heard you. I just got distracted.”

The voice sounded innocent and excited as it echoed around the yard and made me want to smile for some unknown reason.

Fucking aliens.

But the cheerful voice was getting closer, so as he chattered away, I waited to see who’d come around the corner. “The company I order paint from isn’t making it right anymore and I have to find a new one. I don’t care if the original one is toxic. I’m not eating it.”

Huh?

None of that made enough sense for me to respond as a slim, bouncy man with wide, sparkling eyes came nearly skipping around the side of the house.

If he wasn’t a little, I’d eat my hat or the fucking coffee maker that’d exploded last week.

But something about the bubbly man screamed alien just as obviously as the rest on my list had because his eyes twinkled as he smiled in a definitely not-quite-human way.

Fuckers came in kinky too, damn it.

“Hello, Mr.—”

Before I could even finish a sentence, he smiled and jumped right in like I was adorable. “I’m not Mr.anything. I’m Kenzie. Well, technically it’s Mackenize, but only my mother calls me that.”

He was a cutie.

Nope.

Had to stay focused on stupid shit before I could get to know the little alien.

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