Page 57 of The Tides Between Us

“Hey you,”she signed to me before pausing to adjust her ponytail.“This is a pleasant sight.”

“The pleasure is all mine, princess,” I responded with a wink. “How is your day going so far?”

She gave a small shrug.“No different than the rest of my days. How is yours? How were the waves this morning?”

Flipping my camera around, I picked up my phone and slowly gave her a panoramic view of the beach and the ocean. It felt surreal that she was just here with me a few days ago, staring at the same body of water. I flipped the camera back around to face me and set my phone where I had it propped up.

“It looks absolutely beautiful,”she said with one of the most genuine smiles on her lips. It shimmered in her bright blue eyes.

“Not as beautiful as you.”

I didn’t miss the way she momentarily ducked her head in an effort to conceal the blush that spread across her cheeks. It was something I had noticed she did occasionally. It was an innocent, shy movement and it lit a flame in my heart. I loved these moments with her, when her vulnerability shone through.

“When do I get to see you again?” I asked her.

Giana pursed her lips.“Well, this weekend doesn’t work for either of us. Maybe in another week or two unless you end up having some time to come here?”

I instantly regretted even asking but I couldn’t help myself. I was not thriving here without her. “I will see what I can do. I’m not sure when exactly, but I will come see you.”

I couldn’t expect her to keep coming here to see me. It wasn’t fair to her and I didn’t want this relationship to be one-sided at all. That wasn’t how things were supposed to work—and I needed this to work. If long-distance was no longer an option for us, then it wouldn’t even be on the table. I’d be wherever she was.

“Okay,”she told me with a smile, but I didn’t miss the wave of sadness that passed through her expression. It was killing her just as badly as it was killing me.“It’s not a big deal, Dec. We’ll figure it out and just take it one day or week at a time. You have a full schedule and I don’t expect you to disrupt that at all.”

She had no idea how badly I wanted her to. There was a part of me that wanted to tell her to do just that.Please expect me to disrupt my schedule. Please expect me to schedule my life around yours.I couldn’t. I knew Giana well enough to know she would feel guilty, as if she were pushing me away from doing what I loved.

There were plenty of other ways I could do what I loved without traveling, without doing it professionally, and certainly without living on the other side of the country from her.

“All of Pop-Tart’s tests came back great and we’re on track for her release on Saturday.”

“That’s great.” I nodded, once again feeling a twinge of remorse in my heart. I was supposed to be there. “So, you guys are all set to get her back out there. What time are you doing that?”

Giana took a sip of a bottle of water and set it down before she began to sign again.“We were planning on doing it in the morning around sunrise. We’re going to take a boat to take her out to deeper waters to release her.”

“Is that what you typically do?”

She moved her head up and down.“It just depends. Sometimes we do it right off the shore and sometimes we take them out away from the coast.”

I nodded in understanding. “I’m sorry I can’t be there.”

“Stop.”She tapped the side of her right hand against her left palm.“You have other obligations. No one is expecting you to be there, and I told Pop-Tart,”she added with a playful grin in an effort to lighten the mood.“She’s not mad.”

"Do you actually talk to her?” I asked her out of curiosity. I had only ever heard Giana speak twice before and that was only to me. From what I gathered, she didn’t normally speak.

She shook her head at me.“We have a way of communicating nonverbally. And I like to pretend she can read my mind or understand ASL.”Giana let out a breath and pursed her lips momentarily.“Since I lost my hearing, the only people who have heard me speak was you and my mother. I don’t remember what it sounds like and I’m afraid of what it might sound like now that I’m not able to hear it.”

Her admission nearly broke my heart into two. She went that long without speaking out of fear of being judged because of the sound of her voice, but you wouldn’t even be able to tell she suffered from total hearing loss. Her voice was so soft, so quiet, I couldn’t imagine it sounding the way she probably imagined it did. There was still a cadence in her tone.

“Your voice is the most enchanting sound I’ve ever heard, princess. I’m in love with the sound of you.”

Her lips parted and if I wasn’t completely focused on her, I may have missed the words she spoke aloud.

“I love you, Declan.”

“I love you more.”

She shook her head at me, the sound of her soft laughter snaking around my eardrums. I stared back at her, my eyes trailing along the column of her neck as her head tilted back. As she lifted her head back up, her bright blue eyes met mine and my heart felt like it was crumbling into pieces.

I was officially done with this. Long-distance was never going to work, not when the only way I could see her like this was through a goddamn phone screen. I knew exactly what I had to do. If Giana wasn’t going to ask it of me, I had to make the decision myself… and my mind was already made up before I came back out here.

---