Page 56 of The Tides Between Us

His eyes widened slightly as the words I spoke aloud slid across his eardrums. I watched his expression transform as a tidal wave of emotion encapsulated him. His eyes were soft and warm, his eyebrows slightly pinched as his nostrils flared. Declan swallowed roughly, his throat bobbing as he let out a ragged breath.

He collapsed against me, burying his face in the crook of my neck as his hand slid along the side of my torso. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as he slid one of his own around the back of my neck and held me close. His other hand was beneath my ass, lifting it up enough to get a deeper angle as he began to thrust into me once more.

Warmth was building in the pit of my stomach. My legs were wrapped tightly around his waist, my nails digging into his shoulders as I held on to him. Declan shifted his hips, moving faster and harder with every thrust. His chest vibrated against mine as he let out a low moan. He was everywhere, surrounding me as he consumed me. I was so lost in him.

Declan thrust into me again, sending me over the edge. I cried out, holding on to him with desperation as my orgasm tore through my body. The warmth spilled into my veins, spreading through my body like wildfire. I held on to him as he rocked into me once more before losing himself deep inside me. Another growl rumbled in his chest, vibrating through me.

His breath was soft against my skin and he peppered kisses along the top of my shoulder and up the side of my neck as his thrusts slowed. We were both left breathless and he lifted his face to look down at me. His eyes probed mine and his breath skated across my skin. We were both riding out the highs of our orgasms, left in the aftershocks of it. Ever so gently, he pulled out of me and I immediately felt his absence.

Declan got up from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom before returning with a washcloth. He was silent as he cleaned me up and slowly lowered himself back onto the bed beside me. His arm slid along my shoulders and he pulled me flush against his side. I settled into him, breathing him in as I rested my head against his chest.

I could stay like this forever, right here in this moment with him, but it wasn’t our reality.

I slowly lifted my head, my eyes meeting his as I began to move my lips.“Is there any way you can come back to Orchid City next weekend?”

Declan tilted his head to the side. “What’s going on next weekend?”

“We’re releasing Pop-Tart into the ocean. I thought maybe you would want to be there for it.”

A wave of sadness washed over his face and regret washed over his eyes. “I’m supposed to surf in a competition in Hawaii next weekend.”

Dejection radiated from him and threatened to pull me into the depths of it. It slid through my soul and I tried to push it away, as far from my mind as possible. I couldn’t show my disappointment, not when he was already feeling guilt for his absence.

“It’s okay.”I smiled at him in an attempt to assure him it was in fact okay. I never expected him to put anything before surfing.“I just thought I would ask, but it’s no big deal at all.”

Declan stared at me, his expression unreadable. I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled me close and rolled me onto my back as his lips found mine with urgency. This was what our reality was now: a series of missed events and borrowed time. He kissed me until I couldn’t breathe, his hips shifting as he slid into me again.

He engraved his love into my soul and buried his remorse deep inside my heart.

CHAPTERTHIRTY

DECLAN

Giana’s time with me here had come and gone and she was already back home… without me. It felt like I picked her up from the airport and blinked my eyes and it was time for her to fly back to Orchid City. It was lonely here. I didn’t have her, and I didn’t have my brother. It just felt extremely isolating. I was also in the habit of isolating myself recently. Anyone who invited me to hang out, I turned down. I wasn’t in the mood for company unless it was hers.

Floating on my board, I let the ocean push me forward, before pulling me back. I’d been surfing for the past hour and decided to be done. I couldn’t explain it. It was almost as if the sport had lost its luster. I didn’t care about being in the spotlight or being on top, even though that was where I was used to being. The pressure had begun to feel like it was too much. It was crushing and suffocating.

I just wanted to float in the ocean and enjoy myself, whether I wanted to surf or not.

I didn’t know what had happened to me in my time off, but I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. Surfing was the most important thing to me before I injured my shoulder. It was all that mattered. I ate, lived, and breathed the surf life. Now, it just felt as if my heart wasn’t in it like it once was.

As long as I still had access to the ocean, my soul was happy.

But it would have been happier with her.

In three short days they were scheduled to release Pop-Tart back into the wild. I couldn’t help but feel an insane amount of guilt. I was supposed to fly out tomorrow night to Hawaii. The contest started on Friday morning. I was supposed to surf Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The thought of not being there with them when they released Pop-Tart was killing me.

That damned turtle held so much weight over me, but it was more than that. She symbolized something greater. She was what had ultimately brought Giana and I into each other's lives. Without her, I wasn’t certain we would have met—or at least not under those circumstances. I was invested in her healing journey and now I wasn’t going to be there for the final send-off.

It didn’t sit right with me.

After floating in the ocean for a few more minutes, I allowed the waves to carry me back to shore. The beach was already starting to fill up with people who were here for the day. I made my way through a few of the crowds to where I had left my things. Setting my board down on the sand, I sat down on it and reached for my phone from the front pocket of my backpack.

This had become a daily habit. I would go out early in the morning and surf and swim, and then sit on the beach and talk to Giana while she was on a break or had some free time at work. She left three days ago and it felt like the time between us stretched even farther.

I smiled to myself as I saw her text message. I read over it, of her telling me she missed me and hoped I was having a good day so far and to text her when I got out of the ocean. It wasn’t enough. I needed to see her face. I was tired of just having the text conversations and the closest thing I got to really seeing her was through a pixelated FaceTime call. Tapping on the screen, my face showed up as it began to call her.

After a few rings, her face showed up on the screen, sending mine up to the corner in a small rectangle. She smiled brightly as soon as she saw me and I watched her as she set the phone down so she would be able to sign to me. Grabbing my backpack and moving it in front of me, I did the same.

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