Page 51 of The Tides Between Us

I nodded, slipping my hand into his as he grabbed his suitcase and we began to walk inside the airport. We fell into step beside one another, weaving past people until we made our way over to where Declan needed to check in and drop off his bag. Releasing his hand, I stood back and watched in silence as he moved through the line.

My heart had already sank into my stomach and I couldn’t fight the feelings of despair encapsulating me. My mind diverted back to one of the darkest points in my life… the day my mother left this world. I couldn’t help it. She was the one person in my life who left me without a choice. There was a sense of being abandoned by Declan. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t the case.

I quickly shoved those thoughts from my mind. It may have seemed like he was leaving me by choice, but I was encouraging him to go. It was just as conflicting for him as it was for me. I could see the sadness in the features of his face. Neither of us liked this one bit.

Declan got through the line and left his bag before joining me where I was standing. With his ticket in one hand, his other found mine and we walked over to where the security lines began. I couldn’t walk him to his gate. This was as far as I was allowed to go. This was where we had to say goodbye and go our separate ways.

“I hate this,” he said as he released my hand. He tucked his ticket into his pocket and cupped both sides of my face. “Tell me to stay and I will.”

A lump lodged in my throat and I wanted to tell him to stay. God, I wanted to so badly, but I knew I couldn’t. I shook my head at him.“I can’t do that, Declan. You have commitments you already made.”

“Fuck it all. I’ll give it all up for you. Right now, Giana. None of that matters.”

He was breaking my heart and he wasn’t even breaking up with me. If he kept pressing, I was going to cave. I was going to beg him to stay with me.

“We’re going to make this work,”I assured him, even though I didn’t feel very optimistic about our arrangement.“We will talk every day and visit each other whenever we can.”

He stared back at me, his expression unreadable. “I know. I just hate the thought of being away from you.”

“I don’t like it either, but this is how things have to be right now. We’ll figure it out. We will make this work. I’m not against moving to the West Coast. I’m sure they have somewhere I could work there.”

Declan shook his head. “I refuse to ask you to give up everything you’ve built here to follow me.” He paused, letting out a ragged breath. “You’re right. We will figure it out. I just need to get through these tours I’ve agreed to and then I’m coming back for you, princess.”

“Don’t make rash decisions because you’re feeling emotional about this.”

“It’s not a rash decision,” he insisted as he stepped closer to me. “My life is with you, not out there.”

The line for security began to back up farther and Declan was going to be late getting to his gate if he didn’t leave now. I wouldn’t have put it past him to intentionally miss his flight right now. He couldn’t do that, though. His sponsors were expecting him. They were counting on him, and that was how he got paid.

“Fuck,” he breathed the word and I felt it across my face. “I have to go, princess. I really don’t want to.”

“I know, but you have to.”I paused, reaching for his waist.“FaceTime me later?”

“As soon as the plane hits the fucking ground.” His face dipped down to mine, our lips colliding with one another’s. He kissed me slowly, with sadness and pain. My heart was breaking in two, but this wasn’t goodbye. We would see each other again.

Releasing my face, he pulled back and looked down at me. "I love you, Giana. So goddamn much.”

“I love you, too.”

“I will call you as soon as I can,” he assured me, his hands lingering like he didn’t want to let go, but he did. He took a step back and it already felt like there were miles between us. “Fuck. I miss you already.”

Jesus. My heart splintered and I fought back the tears that pricked my eyes.“I love you. Have a safe flight.”

He let out a sigh, his shoulders hanging in defeat. “I’ll always love you more.”

With those final parting words, he turned away from me and headed into the direction of the line for security. I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t stand there and watch him as he was leaving. Spinning on my heel, I all but sprinted through the airport, not stopping until I reached my car. And only after I dropped down into the seat, did I allow myself to cry as I left my heart in the airport.

And the tears showed no signs of stopping.

* * *

“You look like absolute shit,” my brother spoke the words and signed to me as I opened the door to him and Wes standing on the other side of it. I was surprised he didn’t just barge in like he normally did and decided to text me to let me know they were there. He also knew I was upset after dropping Declan off at the airport.

I gave him the middle finger and stalked back through the house until I reached the nest I had built for myself on the couch. Nico and Wes followed behind me. I was thankful for my permanent hearing loss in that moment. I could simply ignore them by just looking in the opposite direction.

They both sat down on the other side of the sectional, blocking my view of the TV with where they were sitting and I was laying. After dropping Declan off, I cried my way home and became a permanent fixture on my couch, watching sad romance movies.

I didn’t want happy stuff. I just wanted to wallow in my sadness.

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